


Where the road will take us

by Nigg



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Clubbing, Dancer Katsuki Yuuri, Denial of Feelings, Eros Katsuki Yuuri, Everything is going to turn out good, Family Feels, Famous Victor Nikiforov, Flashbacks, Friendship, Graduation, Growing Up, Katsuki Yuuri and Victor Nikiforov are Roommates, Katsuki Yuuri is a Tease, M/M, Model Victor Nikiforov, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Phichit Chulanont Is a Good Friend, Photo Shoots, Photographer Phichit Chulanont, Pining, Popularity, Possibly Unrequited Love, Protective Yuri Plisetsky, Slow Burn, Time Skips, Yuri Plisetsky considers Victor like a brother, Yuri Plisetsky is bad at feelings, different POVs, different kinds of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-03-21 06:52:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13735473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nigg/pseuds/Nigg
Summary: Victor Nikiforov is the kind of man that everyone falls for, popular, good-looking, successful. Everyone except for Katsuki Yuuri who will challenge him to find more to himself than appearance.They become very close friends for this and decide to share an apartment temporarily while Yuuri finishes his studies. Yuri Plisetsky is like family to Victor so it is only natural that when he starts going to the same college, he lives next door to them.





	1. January

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is going to be my second long fic, I don’t know how long, yet, but I have some things already planned and I think maybe ten or something chapter? Maybe? That could change. It’s an alternate universe not only because the story is set in a college and that they do not skate but mostly because Yuuri is disappointed when he meets Victor for real. I wanted to explore this possibility and I hope you don’t hate me too much!! If you want soft, sweet, good old Victuuri, I wrote another fic, it is called “On Pointed Feet and Broken Dreams” which is exactly that! This is going to be kind of a rollercoaster and Victor and Yuuri are not going to end up together, I’m sorry... But everything is going to be fine for every one of them! Victor will seem a little shallow at the beginning, but he is not, I promise, I love him too much for that! Well, I hope you enjoy!

**_Today_ **

 

Yuuri ties the last of the many strings of his high boots and tosses his black hoodie on, heading towards the door. His hair is messy, as always, and his piercing brown eyes are emphasized by dark eyeliner on the lids as they glint in the dim light and cast a half-hearted gaze at the mirror. He passes his fingers through the most unruly of his strands to tame them before returning his attention to his still sleeping roommate.

“Oi, Victor, we are late for class. Get up!”

Victor mumbles, rolls onto his stomach and buries his face more into the pillow.

“Victor!” Insists Yuuri, more forcefully. He still hates it sometimes. Victor has zero sense of responsibility, zero interest in anything and yet he is the most successful person he has ever met in school and in pretty much everything else he sets his mind to.

Seeing that the other doesn’t move, he reaches forward, grab his blanket and pull it away. Victor shrieks. “Why are you always so mean to me, Yuuri?”

“I’m not mean, we have to go. Unlike you, I actually need to pay attention to class and study if I want to graduate!”

Victor whines again in protest but he feels a little guilty, like he does every time someone makes that kind of remark. He knows that they are right. He is lucky to always obtain good results in whatever he does without the need to try much, it isn’t a fault. Yet, he has come to understand very well how frustrating that can be to those who struggle to obtain what comes naturally to him. He stands up and dresses quickly in his usual blue jeans and black and white striped sweater. He brushes his hair and takes his bag and keys before finally leaving the room. Yuuri says nothing as he steps into the corridor with Victor in tow.

They knock on the door next to theirs and are almost immediately greeted by a very familiar grunt:

“Hello old man, pig.”

“Hi to you, Yuri!” Victor answers cheerfully. Yuuri just nods in acknowledgment but doesn’t dignify his insult with an answer. When they first met, more than a year prior, he would protest and ask him to stop calling him that but now he knows that it is only a waste of time.

“Are we still good for tonight?” Asks Yuri as they walk outside of the compound and towards the campus.

“Yes, we’ll pick you up at 10.”

“Who’s coming?”

“Well, it’s us, Chris, Otabek, maybe Georgi but I’m not sure and that friend of Yuuri’s...” Victor trails off and Yuuri interjects.

“He has a name, you know? It’s Phichit.” A pause. “I think JJ is joining us, too.”

“Who?” Asks Victor in a confused tone.

Yuuri rolls his eyes. No matter how many times they meet, Victor seems to always forget about him. How can one be so light-headed?

“You know JJ, the Canadian, the one with the cute girlfriend.”

Victor smirks. “You know very well that I’m not into cute girlfriends.”

Yuuri has to chuckle a little at that. “I know, but you still usually remember her better than JJ for some reason.”

Victor puts his index finger to his lips as he tries to associate a face with the name. Yuri huffs.  “Who invited him? Everyone hates JJ.”

“Not everyone hates him, don’t be so rude.” Yuuri reproaches.

“Well, I hate him, Victor can’t remember him and no one cares about your opinion, so I think it counts as everyone here,” says the younger of the group.

Yuuri remains in silence. The campus isn’t far from the building that hosts their apartments and soon they’ll need to go their separate ways. A couple of steps before their usual crossroad, Victor snaps:

“Wait! I figured out who he is!!”

“Yay, applauses to you, now let’s get to class. Bye Yuri, see you later.” Yuuri deadpans, unimpressed.

Yuri tries to suppress a laugh as he waves goodbye to go to his own class. He would never, ever in his life admit to anyone, not even himself, that he admires how Yuuri is always able to face up to Victor. He shakes his head and with a practiced motion, schools his expression back into his trademark scowl.

\--

In class, Yuuri watches Victor take his place next to the professor and can’t help but sigh. Victor knows exactly what he looks like out there and he basks in the awed glances, giggles and whispers with pointed fingers that he gets from everyone. He has just finished his doctorate and he is probably going to teach is own class sooner than later despite his young age because everyone loves him. Yuuri knows he should not be one to talk since he used to be among Victor’s admirers too not long before, but he has met him and understood that the reality is very different from the myth. He didn’t even want to take this course, but he is two years behind and he needs all the credits he can get. That’s the reason why he is here, forced to withstand six hours a week of Victor’s peacocking.

  
  


**_Two years ago - October_ **

 

“Yuuri Katsuki.”

Yuuri flinches, he really can’t stand it when people pronounce his name like that and even if he really wants to make a good impression, he can’t start this collaboration by swallowing all of his pride in one big gulp.

“Ehm… I’m sorry but it’s Katsuki Yuuri actually, in Japan we say it the other way around.”

Victor is a little taken aback by the interruption but he smiles and goes back to his dramatic pose as if nothing happened.

“Alright, sorry.” He clears his throat. “Katsuki Yuuri, starting today I am going to be your tutor for this course.”

He stands in the empty classroom expectantly, looking very pleased with himself. Yuuri thinks that he seems to be waiting for an applause or something. It’s probably true.

“Um? Thanks? What are we going to do?” He answers.

Victor pouts. People usually reacts differently to his announcements.

“Well, first of all, you are going to explain to me what your main difficulties are, then I’ll help you study and revise for the exam. It’s very simple.”

“Okay.” Yuuri couldn’t believe his luck when he has been assigned to Victor’s tutoring. He is the most popular grad student of the entire University, he has already published lots of papers and he replaces the professor the majority of times. Not that he cares a lot about grades but he admires people who do, he wishes he would be more interested sometimes. Plus, Victor is _gorgeous_. Incredibly so. He models in his free time and his pictures are everywhere, Yuuri himself has more than a few of them hanging from his room walls. He has a weakness for pretty boys, sue him. So far, though, he seems kind of plain.

Victor suddenly grins. “Wait a minute! Here’s where I’ve seen you! You were dancing at the party last night!”

“Yeah, that was me.”

“You were amazing! I was practically drooling.”

Yuuri bites his bottom lip slightly, conflicted. He wasn’t expecting this turn of the conversation. He is used to these comments and to the hungry eyes Victor is now giving him but he thought that it would be different with him. Victor was a role model, passionate about his study and cultured. All smartness and cleverness not… this.

“Thanks? I think.”

“Wow. I can’t believe I’m getting to know you.”

Victor steps closer and Yuuri instinctively retreats.

“Hm... I have to go. See you tomorrow.”

“What? No, wait! Aren’t you a little excited to meet me, too?” Victor is whining, this time even louder and Yuuri doesn’t know what to do. He thinks that he looks like a spoiled child, mixed with a beaten puppy. He isn’t sure he likes the combination. It  _ could _ be endearing if it wasn’t that he is supposed to be Victor Nikiforov, the most promising student of the college. Probably of the State.

“Well, I heard about you a lot so I was looking forward to meeting you when I read your name on the assignment. You are pretty famous around here.”

“I know.”

Victor looks like he won the lottery. Yuuri is hit by the need to erase that smugness from his face, so he goes for it.

“Now that I’ve actually met you, though, I don’t see what the big deal is.”

Victor’s mouth drops.

Yuuri shrugs and leaves the room, waving behind his back.

  
  


**_Today_ **

 

“Yuri-chan! Take me with youuuu, pleaseeeee!! I’ll be good, you won’t even notice that I’m there! Pleaseeeee!”

“I told you not to call me that.” Yuri scoffs as he tries to detach his annoying roommate from the leg he is holding like his life depends on it.

“Pleeeeaseeee!! Please please please!”

“You just want to see Yuuri.”

“Maybe...” He fakes innocence as he widens his eyes impossibly.

The problem is, Yuri can understand that desire all too well. He sighs.

“Fine, you can come but don’t get used to it.”

Kenjirou untangles himself and goes back to standing on his own two feet, then whoops and throws himself in Yuri’s arms with a string of high-pitched thank-yous. The latter maintains a blank face as he comments with a firm voice:

“Don’t make me regret it now and go get ready, I don’t want us to be late.”

He lets go immediately and steps away, knowing all too well that Yuri doesn’t like displays of affection. He hops around the room in excitement and he replies between cheers:

“You know Victor’s going to be late, we have nothing to worry about.”

“They said they’ll pick me up at 10 and I want to be ready at 10. I don’t care about Victor.”

“I know  _ who _ you care about...” says Kenjirou suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Don’t project your creepy thoughts on me.”

He gives the Russian a pointed look but meeting the same stern expression he lets it go, raising his hands in a surrender pose. It’s a long-term discussion between them that he doesn’t want to reopen now, fearing that Yuri will have second thoughts about bringing him along if he did.

“How did your classes go, today?” He asks instead.

“It was fine. Yours?”

“Good. I had Victor finally! Man, he really is amazing!”

“Tch. Not if you have to deal with him every day of your life.” Yuri gives him his back to hide his proud smile. It’s true that he sometimes can’t stand Victor and that he hates it when most people only want to deal with him because they think he is related to the man - which he is not - but he really considers Victor like a brother and it makes him happy when someone appreciates his work.

They start getting ready for the night because, even if it is early and it’s a fact that Victor is going to be late, none of them wants to upset the others, being the youngest of the group. They have a section of the closet expressly for this kind of events and they rush to open it, each wanting to be the first to choose his outfit. They normally have very different styles of clothing but whenever Yuuri dances, everything else becomes secondary.

“Are you wearing the high-heeled boots?” questions Yuri when they finish dressing up. They bought them together the day after their first time at Yuuri’s club and whenever he’ll manage to go out with them, Kenjirou would wear the shoes to show them off. Yuri has a very similar pair but he never actually used them outside of the apartment because he doesn’t want Yuuri to see him and think that he bought them to match his own. Which is exactly what both of them did.

“Of course! And you?”

“I think I’ll pass today. Can I borrow your eyeliner?”

“Why? What’s wrong with yours?”

“I don’t know, it looks worse.”

He shrugs and gestures to one of his shelves, saying:

“Sure, it’s in the case with the other makeup. We should have a shared case, it’ll make everything a lot easier.”

“No, we shouldn’t. It’s important to always know what’s yours and what’s mine.”

“But you always use my things anyway!”

“Yes, I  _ use _ them but they are  _yours_.” 

Kenjirou chuckles. That’s another argument they have been having since they became roommates when Yuri started studying there at the beginning of the academic year.

“Fine. Pass it to me when you are done.”

\--

A single knock on the door has them on their toes, ready to leave. Yuri has tight black pants and a slightly oversized tank top with purple sequins on it and no pockets, so this time it’s Kenjirou’s turn to carry their phones and keys since he is wearing jeans under his white shirt.

“Hello! Hi, Kenjirou, are you joining us, too?” asks Victor as they open the door.

He grins. “Yes! Yuri-chan said I could come!” 

(“Don’t call me that.”)

Yuuri waves at them from his spot behind Victor. It’s not a surprise to anyone that he is stunning, with his hair slicked back, smokey eyes and shining lip balm on his sly smirk. His shirt is sparkling silver and cut diagonally, leaving a hip exposed and revealing how his pants hang lower than it should be legal over his perfect curves. They are impossibly tight and end just over the edge of his black belted boots with high heels.

“Shall we go?” he asks. His voice matches his smile. He is already in the role. Kenjirou bounces on his feet. Yuri shoves him out of the room and closes the door behind them.

  
  


**_4 months ago - September_ **

 

The Japanese teen straightens his shirt and passes his fingers through his hair to liven it up for the tenth time. He is holding the announcement he has found that morning like it’s the most important thing in the World. On the paper is written ‘Looking for a roommate. Preferably quiet. They should mind their own business, do their part in the cleaning without complaining and don’t touch what’s not theirs. Ever. Call Yuri Plisetsky xxx-xxxx.’

He most certainly didn’t cry happy tears when he read it. Nor did he squeaked. That’s something for only his cat to know.

He knocks on the door with a shaking fist.

“Are you the guy who called yesterday?” the boy on the other side asks as a form of greeting as he opens and motions for him to go inside.

“I am!” He chirped before extending his hand, “My name is Minami Kenjirou, nice to meet you.”

“Whatever. I’m Yuri.” He ignores the offered hand and starts showing him around the apartment instead. It’s small but it has enough space for two people to live comfortably without stepping on each other’s feet.

“That’s my bed, my closet and those shelves are mine,” Yuri explains, pointing to the various furnishing he lists. Kenjirou nods and takes mental notes of everything the younger boy is saying. If he wants this to work out, he has to be perfect.

“You don’t touch my stuff and I won’t touch yours, it’s very simple. Is it okay for you, Kenjirou?”

The latter stops in his tracks, his eyes widening in surprise. Everyone always assumes that Minami is his name since they pronounce it in the reverse order in America. He finds himself babbling.

“Y-yes, it’s okay.”

“What? What are you so surprised about?”

He shakes his head to find his bearings again.

“I’m sorry, it’s the first time an American understands my name correctly.” He is pleased this time as he speaks. Yuri glares at him.

“First of all, I’m not American. I’m Russian. Second of all, a fr- _ acquaintance _ of mine always talks everybody’s head off about this thing of saying your name and family name like that.”

The Japanese beams at that, his eyes sparkling with hope.

“You mean Katsuki Yuuri, don’t you? Then you really are Victor’s brother as they say!”

Yuri groans and starts shoving him off the room.

“Well, it’s been nice of you to call and stop by, I’ll let you know if the space is free as soon as possible. Goodbye.”

He makes to shut the door behind his very startled now definitely not roommate.

“Wait, wait, wait!” begs Kenjirou after him.

Yuri looks at him with his mouth shut in a thin line.

“I’m sorry, I got carried away it’s just that… I really admire Yuuri, he is so handsome and kind and he is amazing when he dances at the club but he still goes to classes and everything at school... I kind of… Answered your ad because I was hoping I could meet him through you?”

He blushes, side-glancing at Yuri without really meeting his eyes. The Russian laughs.

“Let me get this straight. You wanted to use me to meet Yuuri? And not Victor?”

Kenjirou doesn’t know what the correct answer would be, so he decides to tell the truth.

“Yes?”

Yuri grins and extends his hand to the baffled boy in front of him to shake it properly this time.

“Welcome to your new apartment. I can’t wait to tell Victor, he will love this!”

“Eh?? No, no, no, please, he will be one of my professors, I can’t have him hate me before I even start going to his lessons!” He whines as he is dragged back into the place to make arrangements for his newfound accommodation.

  
  


**_Today_ **

 

The music in the club is loud, their blood pulses to the rhythm beating through their bodies and making them dizzy. The lights are fluorescent and make their vision blurred. Among the group of four people, Victor stands out as out of place, with his light blue button-up shirt and his clean face. He doesn’t care, this is one of the few occasions in which he doesn’t mind having everyone’s eyes off of him and trained on his gorgeous roommate instead.

They meet up with Chris, JJ, Otabek, Georgi and Phichit at the entrance and the ensemble gets even weirder to watch but that’s pretty much the purpose of the night, so they are on theme. Even between Georgi’s excessive makeup, JJ’s exhibitionist look and Chris’ extravagance they are still not the most mismatched of the groups gathered there. It’s part of the reason why they love this kind of parties. You can be whatever you want, without anyone judging you. The club offers those from time to time and they make sure to always go. After all, it is where Yuuri shines the most and him dancing there is one of the main reasons why the club is popular, so much that it is common to hear it called “Yuuri’s club”, even if it isn’t Yuuri’s at all.

“Good evening, dears! How are things going?” greets them Chris.

Victor hugs his colleague briefly and moves to his side before waving to the others. They exchange hellos and move on to the bar to have some drinks and catch up.

Phichit is probably the most sparkling of the group, rivaling even Yuuri with a red sequined jacket that only he in the entire World can pull off such comfortably. He always has this royal poise to himself and most people envy him for it without knowing that, actually, he is all fluff, cries watching silly movies and has an obsession with social media. Yuuri loves him with all his heart. He has been his first friend when he moved to America from Japan seven years prior and they have been close since.

“Yuuri! I know everyone here is thinking this but no one has told you, so I’ll do the honors! You look amazing!”

“Thank you, Phichit,” Yuuri replies shyly, his interpretation momentarily faltering.

Chris perks up behind them. “He doesn’t really need us to tell him, does he?”

“He deserves to hear it. Every. Single. Time. Right, Victor? Little Yuri? Minami?”

Victor and Kenjirou nod joining Phichit in his compliments while Yuri scoffs and turns to the other side. Yuuri ignores him.

“I’d better go, now. See you later, guys, have fun!”

“We’ll sure do.” Comments Chris, winking at him.

Yuuri moves to his usual spot next to the DJ and it’s like the time stops around him. He looks like he was born to be there, all eyes on him, dancing to his own music instead of the one coming from the speakers. He moves and every single person in the club wants to be on the receiving end of his gaze. He doesn’t see anyone, though, lost as he is in his own world. He doesn’t dislike the attention but he doesn’t seek it, either. He knows he is good at this. He has danced at every one of the previous parties and the only time he missed, the organizers have pleaded him to. But that isn’t the reason why he does it, he just loves the feeling of the music under his skin, loves to dance the night out. Everything else is collateral.

He spins and his eyes lock with Victor’s for a moment. He smiles at him as he extends his finger and mouths ‘Come here’. Victor all but run with wagging tail and tongue out. Yuuri makes a big gesture of checking him out, licking his lips before reaching for his hand and bring him up. It’s all for show and they both know it but Victor revels in it all the same, appreciating every second.

“Do they have to do this disgusting thing every time?” snaps Yuri to no one in particular. Kenjirou would give him a knowing smile if his undivided attention wasn’t on the dancing pair. It’s JJ instead who props an elbow on his shoulder and comments:

“Why don’t you go up there in his place, next time, then?”

Yuri’s face turns red as he yells: “I’d rather die! Take your hands off me, now!”

JJ laughs and steps farther from the Russian, who is muttering curses under his breath, coupled with some “Why the hell do we keep inviting JJ?”.

“Ignore him, Yuri.” Suggests Otabek, always the voice of reason in these situations.

“I don’t know how you manage to be friends with him.”

“He is not so bad once you get to know him.”

Yuri makes a disapproving noise, not bothering to put his distress into words.

Otabek smiles at him softly. They have been friends for a while now and he feels very protective towards the younger boy even if he doesn’t understand him completely sometimes. With time maybe they’ll get to know one another better, for now, all he has to do is distract him from JJ’s teasing and from burning a hole into Victor’s and Yuuri’s figures with his glaring.

“Come on, let’s go dancing too.”

“Fine.”

“Minami, Phichit, would you like to join us?”

“Sure!” The two answers enthusiastically as they dig into the mass of bodies moving in unison to the dance floor. Chris follows them, dragging Georgi with him.

Realizing he has been left alone, again, JJ hurries to get to Chris, whining. “Why do you keep inviting me and then leaving me behind?”

Chris smiles at him charmingly. “Playing the victim doesn’t suit you, Jean. Come dance with us, they didn’t call me either and I’m not here complaining, see?”

JJ huffs but complies and joins the others as they forget about their differences for a moment, losing themselves in the night.

\--

When Victor leaves Yuuri alone and returns to his friends, Chris hooks his arm with his to go get some fresh air.

“I really don’t know how you can live with him and resist him.” He comments.

“It’s simple. I don’t,” sighs Victor. “He has made it pretty clear that he doesn’t reciprocate, though, so there’s not much I can do. We are friends and I get to dance with him like this. It’s okay.”

“I would honestly die if I were in your shoes. It must be a torture!”

“At least he treats me like a proper human being instead of some kind of  _ legend _ . I know that he likes me for real and doesn’t want to use me for my popularity. You know how it went with my previous roommate.”

Chris hummed. “I do.”

“We’ve known each other for two years and it’s been one since we started sharing the apartment, I got used to it. Sometimes, I keep hitting on him or asking him out, but it’s just for fun by now, I’m resigned. We are good like this. He really is an amazing friend, he keeps me on edge. Helped me a lot, too.”

“Yeah, I know... It’s a pity, you would be such a wonderful couple!”

“We certainly would.”

Seeing that his friend is getting wistful, Chris stops probing. “Too bad, I’m sure you’ll find the right person for you eventually.”

“He won’t be like him, but I know I will.”

“Maybe he will be better?” Chris offers. Victor nods to avoid entering a pit of gloom in such a beautiful night but he is not very convinced. Ever since he met Yuuri, he has known that he is different from everyone else. He won’t find someone like him again, not to mention better. That doesn’t mean he won’t find the right person for him. He is convinced that he will find it and Yuuri will too, even if, unfortunately, not in each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually update weekly but right now I still have to finish “On Pointed Feet and Broken Dreams”, so the second chapter may be delayed a little. If you want, let me know what you think about the story in the comments or [on Tumblr](https://onpointedfeetandbrokendreams.tumblr.com/)! Thank you so much for reading!!


	2. February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Far away from their country of origin, they find pieces of home in simple things and value the importance of friendships.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! You may have noticed from the first chapter that I decided to try a different style of writing for this story, it will be narrated through short scenes back and forth in the timeline, I hope it's not too confusing! In this chapter, we are going to learn more about their backstory, especially little Yuri's.  
> Just as a reminder, I use Yuuri with two Uus for Yuuri Katsuki and Yuri with just one for Yuri Plisetsky so it should be always clear which one I'm referring too. Happy reading!

**_Today_ **

“Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri!”

The Japanese boy turns around to see his best friend waving animatedly at him and running in his direction. “Good morning, Phichit! Why such a good mood?” He asks.

Phichit catches his breath, puffs out his chest and raises his chin to announce:

“I was hoping to meet you! I have the greatest news! There’s an agency that’s having a photographic contest this month and the winner will be admitted to work with them for three weeks! It could be a huge opportunity for me!”

As he processes the information, Yuuri’s eyes widen. “Wow, that’s wonderful!”

Phichit’s grin suddenly subdues and his expression turns bashful. “Actually… About that, there’s something I wanted to ask you...”

Yuuri snorts. “You want Victor, don’t you? It’s okay, Phichit, I’ll ask him, don’t worry.”

He beams again, relieved that Yuuri doesn’t look too mad at the request. “Really? Thank you so much! You are the  _ bestest _ of friends!”

“I don’t think  _ bestest _ is a word, Phichit!”

Phichit sticks his tongue out at him. “I’ll buy you a cake to thank you! No, better, two cakes! Anyway, that wasn’t the only thing... I wanted to ask you and little Yuri to help, too.”

“Me? Why me? And why Yuri? He will never agree to help us.”

”The theme is ‘In regarding to love’ and I had this amazing idea but I need three people to realize it! The three of you would be just perfect for it! Little Yuri might do it if you ask?”

“I think you are overestimating my abilities in persuading someone.”

Phichit raises a brow. “Hm… Whatever you say...”

“So, what’s the idea?”

“You know how in Ancient Greece they had more than one way to express love, right?”

“I remember something.”

“There’s Philos, which is the love for family, whether it is related by blood or chosen,” Yuuri nods as Phichit counts with his fingers, “then Agape, the unconditional love and finally, Eros, the physical love.”

“You are forgetting Pragma.”

“No way, is there another? That ruins my idea! What’s Pragma?”

“It’s the more practical love, you know, the one that continues in time. Like, the love you experience day by day and that you work hard to keep alive.”

“Damn. I’ll have to think about it and make some research.”

Yuuri chuckles, when Phichit gets involved in one of these projects he throws himself completely into it. “Let’s focus on the three you have already included for now, what do we need to do?”

“Right, yes… I wanted to have you dress up and pose to express one of those forms each. Victor will be Philos, little Yuri Agape, because of his angelic face and small features...”

“Don’t you ever let him hear that, he would kill you!” Interrupts Yuuri, making Phichit freeze. “Yeah, you may be right! Don’t tell him, please!”

“I promise, I love you too much to have any part in your murder.”

“Thank you!”

They share an amused smile, then Yuuri finishes the count for him:

“So you want me to be Eros? Why? You asked for Victor, go all the way and ask Chris instead, he has Eros written all over his face and body! Not to mention, he is actually a model so he knows how to pose for pictures and all.”

“Well, it is true that Chris would be a perfect Eros but he will ruin the balance of the picture I have in mind. Besides, you are just as good when you want to.”

Yuuri is about to protest but Phichit gives him one of his looks and he can’t deny his friend anything. “Fine, I’ll do it and I’m sure Victor will love the idea. The only issue is how to talk Yuri into it. Are you one hundred percent sure that you want him? Isn’t there  _ anyone  _ else?”

“I am sure, please could you try and ask him?”

Yuuri huffs. “I will but… Fine, I’ll let you know what they say.”

“Thank you!! Call me as soon as you can and we will arrange where to meet to talk about it.”

Yuuri nods, not very convinced. He has three hours of class to figure out what to say to Yuri but he doesn’t think that even if he had three years it would make any difference.

  
\--  


He knocks on the door of the apartment and he hears a voice from the inside calling out: “Who is it?”

“Kenjirou, it is Yuuri, is your roommate there?”

He hears a shriek, frantic steps and movements. He muffles a laugh. “Kenjirou? It’s okay, I’ve already seen you not dressed up at school, don’t worry about it, just open the door.”

The Japanese teen opens slowly, looking flushed for being caught red-handed and he says sheepishly:

“He should be back in a minute. If you want to wait for him I can make you a cup of tea?”

“Thank you, that would be great.”

He motions for Yuuri to come inside and sit at the small table that stands in a corner of the apartment as he moves to the kitchenette beside it. While they wait for the water to warm up, he opens a box with flowers printed on the cover. It’s where he keeps his most precious teas and infusions. The scents fill the room making Yuuri’ heart warm. He smiles softly. “This smell reminds me of home.”

Kenjirou nods as he offers the box to him humming. “Me too. Which one do you prefer?”

Yuuri looks at the various herbs displayed in small compartments and chooses one. It is difficult to find these kind of mixtures so far away from Japan and it is nice to share this little piece of their homeland with someone who feels the same way about it. As he puts the mix in the kettle, Kenjirou takes his phone out of his pocket to note down the name of the tea as a reminder to buy more of it next time.

They have just sat to sip their tea when the Russian enters, scowling and complaining about his awful day.

“Hello, Yuri.”

He is still turned to face the door but he recognizes the voice immediately. “What are you doing, here, pig?”

Yuuri rolls his eyes. “Are you busy? Can we talk for a bit?”

Kenjirou makes big motions with his arms behind Yuuri’s back, both to cheer and to threaten his roommate if he dares to refuse. Yuri ignores him and asks, a little concerned:

“Did something happen with the idiot?”

“No, don’t worry, Victor is fine. It’s about Phichit, actually.”

Yuri’s frown only deepens. “What does your weird friend want with me?”

“He is not weird, and he is your friend too. Let’s take a walk, I’ll explain everything.”

“Fine.”

Yuuri thanks Kenjirou for the tea and they leave the building. He knows that he will have a better chance at convincing Yuri if they are alone and there’s no need for him to feel like he has to prove himself to other people. In front of someone else, he would never agree to anything, if only to maintain his image. They round the corner of the compound and reach the small garden beneath before Yuuri decides to break the silence going straight to the point. “ _ Our  _ friend Phichit has a very important opportunity with a photographic agency and he asked for our help.”

“Why should I care?”

“Don’t be like that, you know that he would do it for you. You may not be that close, but we have known each other for a while now, don’t we? It won’t take away too much of your time, it’s just a matter of dressing up and taking a few pictures. You could even have fun!”

“I suppose… Why would he want me of all people?”

Yuuri thinks back at Phichit’s answer to that same question and bites his tongue to suppress a laugh. “I don’t know, he has this image in mind and he thought that we would be suitable, it is me, you and Victor.”

“The idiot is in this too?”

“Yes,” Yuuri answers simply, letting the question sink in. He knows that Victor’s inclusion could be a motive for him to accept as well as a deterrent, depending on Yuri’s current mood. He hopes that it’s the first case.

Yuri huffs. “Okay, fine, tell him that if he doesn’t make me look too ridiculous and he doesn’t waste too much of my time, I’ll do it.”

“Great! Thank you very much! We’ll have fun, I promise.”

“Tch.”

  
  
  
**_March - One year ago_ **

  
Victor walks into the house with a spring in his steps. He has been like that since he met this new student he is tutoring. He closes the door and, seeing Yuri on the couch, he chirps up:

“Yuri, I was thinking… What would you like to do for your birthday?”

Yuri grumbles, not raising his head from his phone:

“Nothing. I don’t care, seventeen is a stupid age, anyway.”

“It’s not stupid, it’s an important step! Next year you are going to choose the path to your future, we should do something to celebrate your last year as a little kitten!”

Yuri doesn’t want to think about this. He has no idea about what he wants to do with his life, yet and celebrating his birthday isn’t exactly on the top of his priorities. He also knows that there’s no way Victor will let this go so he goes with the lesser evil. “Maybe we can organize a little party?”

“Amazing! Who do you want to invite? We need to have music and, of course, pirozhki!”

Thinking about it like that, Yuri finds himself hating the idea a little less. “Okay, it could be nice. Otabek is a DJ, I could ask him for the music.”

“Perfect! And you and I will prepare the pirozhki ourselves, it’s going to be fun! What about Mila and Georgi?”

“Sure, they can come, too.”

“Great! Can I bring Yuuri?”

Silence falls into the room and Yuri flinches. “What? Why? It should be my party, not an excuse for you to flirt with your student!”

“Please Yuriiiiii, I promise that you’ll like him!”

Victor has been telling him that for the past month, trying to force him to meet this Yuuri, organizing things or suggesting that they invited him over for whatever reason. Yuri always refused, saying something along the lines of ‘Just because we share the same name we don’t need to get along’ or ‘I don’t need to meet Victor 2.0, I have enough with one’. This time, though, he doesn’t really care. It will look more like a proper party with more people attending it and he has no one else to invite.

“Ugh, fine, bring your stupid student!” He concedes.

Victor stops pouting to cheer, then he turns serious and his voice is almost tentative as he asks:

“Do you want to invite some of your classmates?”

The answer is immediate and sounding non-negotiable. “No.”

Victor nods and says nothing more on the matter.

\--

The night of his birthday party, Yuri is grumpier than usual. Despite being with his friends, he hasn’t changed his clothes and he is still wearing the plain jeans and grey shirt he had on for school. The music is okay and he and Victor really did enjoy themselves in making the pirozhkis. He used to prepare them with his parents back in Russia, before they died and he was forced to come live here with an uncle he barely knew, so it was nice to do it again with Victor. It was like bringing there a small part of their country of origin. It felt  _ familiar _ . 

He is talking with Mila only half listening to the conversation because he isn’t really in the mood when the doorbell rings. He knows it’s Victor and his student because they are the only ones missing. Yuri still doesn’t particularly look forward to meeting him. He heard so much talking about him that he may as well know him already. He knows that he is ‘beautiful’, which certainly means he is a Mr. Perfect like Victor; he doesn’t give himself enough credit, which means he is one of those insufferable brats that are always fishing for compliments and ‘the way he moves takes your breath away‘, which means  _ gross _ .

The moment Yuuri enters the room and glares at Victor because he tried to put a hand on his back to lead him inside, Yuri can see that he hadn’t understood anything. 

He is wearing a dark hoodie over tight light-blue jeans faintly glittered, just enough to make themselves noticed while not standing out too much as out of place in a quiet evening at someone’s house and he has a light makeup over his eyes. The two approach Yuri and he introduces himself:

“Hello, you must be Yuri, nice to meet you.”

His voice is melodious and the tone has an underlying lilt of amusement as he adds: ”It should be easy for you to remember my name! Happy birthday, thank you for inviting me.”

Yuri coughs to regain some composure and answers:

“Thank you. I didn’t invite you, though. It was Victor.”

The other Yuuri smirks. “Yeah, I figured.”

It is definitely not what he was expecting from the person Victor has swooned over for the past months. He stares still mildly in shock between him and Victor until the older Russian chuckles and tells Yuuri to help himself with some food and drinks, pointing to the table they set up to the side. When they are left alone, he elbows Yuri. “So, what do you think?”

Yuri really doesn’t know. For lack of better words, he replies: 

“He is… Different.”

Victor hums. “He is.”

They watch him move gracefully around the room, introducing himself to the other guests and finally taking a bite of one of their carefully baked pirozhki and completely melt on the spot. “This is amazing, you really cooked this?” He says, addressing them again. Victor nods proudly while Yuri feels something odd in his chest.

  
  
  
**_Today_ **

  
As expected, convincing Victor is a lot easier. Yuuri hasn’t even finished speaking about Phichit’s project that he is already bouncing up and down on his feet in excitement. “Yuuuri!! I’ve been trying to convince you to do a photoset with me for ages! Of course I agree!”

“Thank you. It will be important for Phichit to have at least one person that knows what he is doing,” he snorts a little sadly.

“You’ll be amazing, too, don’t worry. And I like the idea and your friend’s style, he could really make a name for himself in the field, so I’m happy to help.”

“The first time you said that to him he basically combusted on the spot.”

Victor grins. ”I remember. I’ll be sure to repeat it, then. What do you want to do tonight?”

“Hm… I have some assignments that I should finish for tomorrow… What did you have in mind?”

“I don’t feel like cooking… Can we go out? Or have a pizza?”

Yuuri shakes his head, resigned. “Pff, as if you  _ ever  _ feel like cooking… Fine, let’s go out, I’ll finish them later.”

Victor raises his arms in a winning gesture. “Yes! Japanese restaurant at the end of the road?”

“I could never say no to that, they have the only acceptable  _ katsudon  _ of the city.”

He smiles and they gather their things to head out of the apartment, talking about their day and their schedule for the following week. The evening is cold but the restaurant isn’t far away and they have been there so many times in the past year that they could reach the place with their eyes closed. It’s comfortable. It’s sure. One of the many parts of their routine and they don’t need to argue or talk much about it to know what to order, whose turn is to pay, what to share and what to avoid, where to go after. 

When they exit, they almost automatically move to the pub next door to the restaurant. It would be weird not to finish their dinner with a drink there, they did it every other time. The owner greets them and prepares their usual order. Victor sighs. He can’t express how much he loves this. The comfort, the familiarity they have with each other. “Ehy, Yuuri...”

For the same reasons, Yuuri knows where this is going. He sighs. “Again, Victor? No, it’s not a date, we are friends, we have been for two years and we’ll continue to be.”

“Yes, I know…” He shifts in his chair, giving Yuuri his trademarked puppy-dog eyes. “Can I at least have a hug?”

Yuuri chuckles and opens his arms for him immediately. “You know you can.”

They separate only when their drinks arrive and the waiter clears his throat to signal his presence. They thank him and ignore his knowing look, shaking their heads.

  
  
  
**_\--_ **

  
Three times a week, Yuuri wakes up earlier to go for a run. He used to suffer from anxiety when he was younger and even if he has improved a lot in dealing with it now, especially since he stopped worrying about what other people think and started living life his own way, he still needs ways to ease some of his tension. Over the years, he discovered that physical exercise helps a lot in that. So he has found a jogging route and made up a stretching sequence and a playlist. The routine of it all helps him calm his nerves and clear his head. 

Most days he goes by himself but, sometimes, Otabek joins him. The first time has been by chance but they have found out that they liked the other’s quiet company while going over the exercises so it became a sort of tradition. Today is one of those times.

“Good morning, Yuuri. No eye-liner today?”

He stops for a moment. Otabek is always incredibly observant, no one can hide things from him. “Yeah… I have a test later and maybe looking a bit more like Victor will help. I’ll even wear a proper button-up shirt.”

“Wow, send us a picture. We can’t miss this event.”

“Sure.”

“You are doing a lot of tests later, aren’t you?”

“Yes. I’m tired of this school, I’m trying to finish it sooner than later.”

Otabek smiles sympathetically. He doesn’t always show it but he is very caring of everyone in their small group of friends. “Good luck, then.”

“Thank you. What about you? How are you doing?”

“I’m trying. It’s hard sometimes when you see people around you improving so effortlessly and you are struggling with the simplest things.”

Yuuri snorts. “Tell me about it.”

“Right, you are probably the most expert in that since you live with Victor.”

They keep running in silence, passing near the campus and continuing into a tree-lined alley that finishes into a garden. It’s not the shortest nor the easiest road to follow but it’s the least crowded. That’s the reason why both of them chose it. Otabek is faster and steadier when he runs alone but he is willing to ease a little to enjoy the company of another person. He likes those mornings, Yuuri has his peculiar way to see things and it’s refreshing to just be there with him, even if they don’t talk much and just appreciate not being alone while going through their routine. They are not the best of friends and they don’t have a lot of things in common but they have this. He has tried to exercise with other people but he has never found anyone else that is so similar to him in the way he focuses on the tasks at hand, not needing to fill the silence with pointless conversation.

“Did Yuri tell you about our recruitment for Phichit’s next project?” asks Yuuri.

“Yeah, I studied together with him and Kenjirou yesterday. He didn’t stop complaining the whole time. Which means he is excited about it.”

Yuuri chuckles. “I honestly didn’t think he would agree.”

“Why? There’s no way he wouldn’t do it.”

“He is always so loud in proclaiming that he hates me and Phichit, I don’t know… I know that for the most part it is just a show but sometimes I wonder how much truth there is. Maybe it’s because Victor’s doing it.”

Now it’s Otabek’s turn to snort. “If anything, Victor doing it would be a reason for him  _ not  _ to do it. You know that he can’t stand it when people think they are related.”

“Hm… I can understand that very well. For the past year, many have tried to talk to me just to reach him, it’s exhausting, it makes you feel used. And he had to deal with that for a lot longer!”

“Yeah… As much as he loves Victor, the idea of doing something that can make people see them as associated even more than they already do mustn’t be a thing he looks forward to.”

When they reach the garden, they stop to do some stretches and Yuuri takes a moment to consider what Otabek said. His capability to see things rationally is one of the reasons why he appreciates talking to the younger boy. He treasures these mornings with him. While Yuuri tends to have his hidden insecurities to cloud his judgment, Otabek always goes past the appearances and to the point. It grounds him to talk to him like that, makes him put things into perspective. In the end, he comments:

“You may be right. Anyway, I’m glad that he accepted.”

“I know you are.”

After the exercises are over, Yuuri decides that it is time for him to return to the apartment and get ready for his day. He gets up and says goodbye to Otabek:

“I’d better go now, I don’t want to be late and I still have to wake up Victor. I’ll see you tonight?”

“I think so. Bye. Good luck with your test!”

“Thank you. Have a nice day.”

Otabek indulges in stretching his muscles for another half hour, then leaves as well. He has two lessons with Kenjirou just before lunch, so he is probably going to see Yuri at break. Those two have almost opposite personalities and they could be in a comedy show with their constant bickering but they totally get each other. He is glad that Yuri is finally finding some friends other than Victor’s. He has had some issues when he was younger and he has always been only with them. Victor is nice and he will always be important to him but he is like family, it’s different. Otabek has been Yuri’s only friend that was outside of Victor’s circle for a very long time and he is happy to see that changing.

  
  
  
**_August - Three years ago_ **

  
Summer is ending and the park is almost empty. Otabek walks through the quiet path among the trees until he hears the sound of someone crying nearby. The worst part is that he recognizes the voice. He hurries in the direction of the sound and finds him. “Yuri, what happened?”

The blonde boy widens his eyes and tries to hide his expression. “Nothing. Go away.”

“No, you agreed to be my friend, remember? I’ll stay here.”

He sits on the grass next to him and waits. 

“Tch, I don’t care,” Yuri says, turning his head to the other side. He hugs his knees closer to his chest and leans his chin on his folded arms.

“If you want to talk, I’ll listen.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Why are you here, then?” Otabek watches him curiously.

“Victor is doing one of his sets, he should come pick me up when he finishes.”

“Okay, but why did you come to the park by yourself?”

Yuri snaps: “I didn’t. Some of my classmates invited me.”

“Oh. Are they here?”

“Yes.”

Otabek shifts closer to him. “But?”

Yuri exhales loudly in frustration and Otabek smiles to himself, careful not to let him see it. He knows what that sound means. He is about to spit it out.

“Fine, I’ll tell you. They were teasing me because they said that I don’t know how to dress up and that my clothes are ridiculous so I left. Happy?”

“Let them talk, you can wear whatever you like.”

Yuri bites the sleeve of his shirt where it’s rolled up on his arm. “Maybe I should buy blue jeans and striped sweaters like Victor’s...” he mumbles.

“You wouldn’t be yourself without the black and the leopard-prints.”

“But maybe they would like me better...”

He is not very good at this because he has always been a bit of a loner himself but he wants to help Yuri and he is one hundred percent sure of at least one thing. “You don’t have to change who you are for people to like you.”

Yuri turns to look at him, his brows furrowed. “It’s easy for you to say so. Everyone likes you with your bad boy attitude, black leather and motorcycle.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

“Maybe,” he returns his attention to his sleeve and when he continues to talk, his voice is barely over a breath: “But I know that everyone likes Victor. Can you come with me to the store?”

Otabek understands immediately what he means with that and he doesn’t like it at all. “Yuri… Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I’ll be going back to school next week. I will need  _ proper  _ clothes.”

He wipes his eyes and cheeks and dusts himself off, a fierce determination in his eyes. He stands up and offers his hand to help Otabek follow suit. “Will you come or not?”

Otabek sighs. “Fine, let’s go.”

\--

Yuri exits the changing room looking uneasy in his own skin. “Ugh. I hate these.”

“Then why are you trying them on?”

Yuri lowers his head. “You know why,” he purses his lips and asks tentatively: “What do you think? Do I look stupid?”

“No, of course you don’t but… You look like a smaller and angrier version of Victor.”

“Gee, thanks. You sure know how to make people feel better,” he replies sarcastically.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Yuri doesn’t reply. He turns around, watching himself in the mirror. The jeans are too ordinary and too blue, the sweater is too plain, he has even removed his hair from his eye. The person he sees there is not even remotely Yuri but maybe for the World that person would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of Yuuri and Otabek's friendship because they don't have a lot of interactions in the show but I think they would get along, at least when it comes to training or similar things. I hope you liked the update! Feel free to comment or come find me on Tumblr if you want to tell me what you think!  
> Thank you for reading!


	3. March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gathers to celebrate Yuri's eighteenth birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry if I'm a bit late with the update but I've been busier with work in the past weeks. I hope you enjoy!

__**  
** Today  


 

Victor sits on the corner of his bed. The sheets are rumpled and sleep is still lingering on his features but he stares at the image on his phone smiling like a fool, his heart warming at the sight. Phichit just sent them the previews of the pictures they took for his competition and they are amazing. As expected, considering his talent and the subjects chosen. 

He is lost in his thoughts and the memories of the week before when they took the pictures, when Yuuri comes back from his morning training. He takes one step into the room and immediately gapes in surprise, seeing that Victor is already awake. “Good morning, Victor! This is new! Did something happen?”

Victor laughs. “No, don’t worry, everything is fine. How was your run?”

“The usual. Otabek couldn’t make it, though, he has an exam later.”

The amused look in Victor’s eyes deepens. “So do you.”

Yuuri shrugs. “I have exams every single day lately, it’s not a big deal.  If I ditched my training every time, I would never exercise.”

“Point. But it is a big deal! You’ll graduate by the end of the month if you keep this up!”

“Signing up for exams doesn’t mean passing them...”

“But you’ve done well in the past ones! Be a little more optimistic!”

Knowing that his roommate doesn’t like talking about his academic performances too much, Victor resolves to change the topic. “By the way, have you seen Phichit’s pictures?”

“Not yet.”

Victor pats the empty space on the bed next to where he is sitting and Yuuri flops down to look at the phone in his hand and scroll through the pictures. He has to admit that they are pretty good. Yuri was dressed in white and silver and he really had an ethereal and angelic aura. Victor was more  _ ordinary _ , in a way, in blue and green and, finally, Yuuri had a black suit with red and gold inserts. Phichit wanted to show Eros and Agape as two sides of the same coin, while Victor, being the others, more  _ earthly _ forms of love, was the glue between them. The aesthetic reminded the duality between Good and Evil, with the human in the middle to give balance. It was a really original perspective on the theme.

“Look at this one! It almost looks like Yuri is smiling!” Exclaimed Yuuri, stopping on a picture and pointing to the screen.

“I think he is. We need to print this immediately!” Victor agreed. 

“We should use it for his birthday present. He is turning eighteen, he needs all the embarrassment he can get!”

“I don’t know, Yuuri… The all dressing up thing is are a pretty sensitive subject for him and there are going to be too many people for his birthday party.”

Yuuri raises his brow, confused. “Why?”

Victor bites his lip. “Well… Uhm...” He tries to think of an excuse but, in the end, he sighs and resolves to just tell the truth. “I never told you because it isn’t really my place to do so but… When he first transferred here he was teased and bullied because of the way he dressed and wore his hair. He decided to renounce to that way of expressing himself and adopt a more ‘ordinary’ style instead, in the hope that he would be better accepted but… In the beginning, he changed every time he returned home and he was with just us, eventually, he got tired of it. He became so used to the new clothes that more often than not he forgot about it.”

“I had no idea...”

“Yeah… It wouldn’t be such an issue, I mean, they are just clothes but… This affected his behavior when he is with other people too, it’s like he feels like he has to repress his true personality sometimes. You know, he already has troubles in dealing with other people for many reasons, like being forced to live this far from his own country, having lost his parents… He has never had many friends, too and this all sums up...” Victor trails off and Yuuri hums in though. An idea is forming in the back of his mind.

“What about the things he wears at the _random nights_? Are those his true clothes?”

Victor smiles affectionately. “No, they are yours. But it’s a start. I think that those events are really helping him.”

“Do you think that he’ll get mad if he learns that I know about this?”

“Probably, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you.”

“No, I’m glad that you did. It’s just… I would like to do something but I’m afraid that he would get mad at me.” Yuuri looks unsure but he has a sparkle in his eyes, like he does every time that he is looking for something.

“What do you have in mind?”

“Do you think we could… help him? Something safe, not to impose too much but… What if we gave him some clothes fitting his old style for his birthday?”

Victor puts his index finger to his lips and seriously ponders it. It is true that Yuri would probably get mad at first but it could actually be the push he needs. He looks at Yuuri with determination and nods. A shadow of mischief creeps upon Yuuri’s smile in response. “We need to find Otabek.”

\--

The sight of Otabek, Yuuri and Victor going shopping together is odd, to say the least, but they are on a mission. They enter the Mall with very focused eyes as they start to look around. Victor and Otabek know Yuri best, so they are the perfect accomplices for the quest. Yuuri debated over whether to ask Kenjirou, too, but in the end, he decided it was best if they gave him the task of distracting Yuri. Otabek was incredibly pleased when they told him what they wanted to do and that built up Yuuri’s confidence in his decision.

“Do you think that this place could do?” He asks as they pass in front of a shop that recites ‘Glam Rock’ on the front.

“It may be, let’s have a look inside,” answers Otabek. They enter through the half-open door and not even two steps into the store, they spot a huge number of different kinds of animal printed outfits, black torn pants and leather. They share a knowing look and smile at each other. It is perfect.

 

_**May - One year ago**_

 

The more he sees Yuuri, the more Yuri envies him. He simply lives as it pleases him. Whether he is going out to have fun or he is studying, he behaves as he likes, he teases Victor despite him being, well, _Victor_ he dresses in sparkling outfits or casual ones depending on his mood and he isn’t bothered by anyone or anything. Yuri really doesn’t understand how he does it. He needs some moment to process every new thing he sees the man do. He doesn’t know if it is because he is older or because he has that weird Thai friend following him every step of the way or it is simply how he is. What he does know is that he wants to feel that free too. To not feel the pressure of being around other people or being judged. He wants to go back to his fringe covering his eye and his leopard printed leggings. He wants to burn every one of his white shirts and striped sweaters to ashes. He is going to College too next year and he maybe can get a fresh start. High school has been Hell but maybe there he can be like that too. Be himself again. Make people know his true self. Stop hiding his emotions so deeply. Or maybe not. It’s been almost two years since that day when he started mimicking Victor and by now he has almost forgotten how being Yuri felt. He hates smiling and pretending to be interested in the useless stuff the other people his age talk endlessly about but since then, they have stopped being mean to him so it was worth it. He thinks. That was what he wanted, wasn’t it? So why does his chest tighten every time he hears Yuuri throw a sassy comment at Victor or sees him smirk defiantly at people who looks weirdly at him for the eye-liner in his eyes?

After his birthday, a couple of months ago, Yuuri has joined their group of friends more often than not and tonight they are all supposed to go to a party together. Victor said it is called the ‘Random Night’ and that Yuuri ‘rules it every time’. Whatever that means. Yuri hasn’t decided if he wants to go, yet. He would be the youngest one there and Otabek is not going. He opens his wardrobe and stares at his content for what feels like an eternity, then he closes it with a dull ‘tump’ and huffs, collapsing on his bed. Rolling onto his stomach, he pulls out his phone and dials Victor’s number. 

“Hello, Yuri!” His usual happy voice answers. “What is it?”

“I’m sorry for tonight but I don’t feel quite well and I’d rather go to sleep soon. Uncle wasn’t very pleased with the idea of me going to a Club with you, either.”

The tone subdues considerably. “Would you like me to come there? We can watch a movie or something or go out to a quieter place and have dinner.”

“No, it’s okay, you have been talking about this party for ages. Go ahead. I’ll study, I think...”

Victor hums. “No, I’ll stay home too. Is your uncle there? I can come over and help you study. You’ll get too much distracted if you stay by yourself. I’ll be there at six because I’m still at work, is that okay?”

“I…” he is about to protest but he isn’t really in the mood to start a discussion with Victor and when he decides something he is the most stubborn person in existence. Until he forgets all about it, of course, which happens frequently. He shakes his head and answers dryly. ”Okay. No, he’s working, he’ll be home late. Bring food.”

Victor chuckles. “Sure, see you later!”

Yuri closes the conversation and tosses his phone away. He closes his eyes and lets himself breathe. He can worry about why the idea of going to that party was making him feel self-conscious and inadequate another time, for tonight he can relax and fall into the familiar pattern of dinner and study with Victor. There will be other chances in the future.

 

_**Today** _

 

JJ knocks on the door two hours earlier than the scheduled time for the party.

“What do you want?” Blurts out Yuri as he opens, his hair messy and his clothes worse, like every time he and Victor cook.

“Happy birthday, little Yuri! I've brought a cake!”

Yuri keeps glaring. “Who invited you?”

“Yuri! We agreed that this was going to be a big party so I invited everyone and everyone included him, let him in, he can help us!” Comes Victor’s voice from the kitchenette.

JJ’s smile falters a little but he keeps his position, as Chris always tells him, feeling upset doesn’t suit him. Yuri sighs but steps aside to let him in.

“Hello, little Minami, hello Victor, am I the first to arrive?”

Kenjirou helps him put the cake away as he nods. “Yes, it’s kind of early but don’t worry, you can help us organize the place.”

They have moved the couch to a side to make space and there is a table on the opposite one that they are proceeding to decorate. Yuri and Victor are cooking, as per tradition, while Kenjirou is cleaning the place as best as he can. There shouldn’t be enough space to fit more than five or six people in the apartment, but it’s not the first time that they attempt something similar and the results are always hilarious, so they decided to celebrate there anyway, considering that the previous year they had to interrupt the party early because Yuri’s uncle got back.

“Where’s Otabek? Wasn’t he at the gym with you?” Asks Yuri.

JJ shakes his head. “He has already trained this morning with Yuuri, so he skipped.”

“Why would he train with Yuuri?”

“Hm… Don’t you know? They do that very often, they run around the campus and do some exercises at the park,” JJ answers perplexed, he thought that it was a common knowledge.

“No, I… Whatever, I don’t care. Here, put these cups around,” he replies, tossing a packet of paper cups to JJ and returning to his previous task by the kitchenette.

Kenjirou and JJ set the table and put some decorations around the apartment, it was Victor’s idea to buy them, to liven up the place. When the others begin to arrive, they pull out some wine and juice to make drinks. Yuri is turning eighteen so finally everyone in their group is of age. He has drunk alcohol before, sometimes, but at least now he doesn’t have to feel guilty about it or make other people order it for him when they go out. Other than the four already present, there’s Yuuri and Phichit, Otabek, Mila and her friend Sara Crispino, Chris and Georgi.

Otabek puts on his new mix and they eat and talk as they listen to it, some standing near the table, others sitting on the couch or the floor, where they have scattered some cushions. It’s a really nice evening. Yuri is enjoying it more than he wants to admit. More than one person spotted him smiling and tossed him a pointed look but he really doesn’t care. He needed this. Starting college has been hard, he is thankful to have Victor tutoring him now more than ever and he is happy that he met Kenjirou. They adapted to share the apartment and study together almost immediately even if the Japanese boy is one year ahead, and he goes along with Otabek, which is a bonus point. 

When the time for the cake arrives, they are all pleasantly tipsy from all the wine and drinks they have consumed while eating dinner and toasting to Yuri, his birthday and many other random things that he doesn’t even remember. They have degenerated pretty quickly but he found that he doesn’t mind. It’s so different from last year, when he felt awkward and cringy and he doesn’t know why but he is having fun, so he is not complaining. Victor is happy too, watching him from a distance like he uses to do sometimes. Yuri knows that he feels partly responsible for him since he came here to live with his uncle and Victor was the only piece of his home that was left so he smiles reassuringly, catching his gaze before returning his attention to Otabek’s music. The DJ really outdid himself this time.

 

_**November - 4 months ago** _

 

It is a sunny day, with the perfect natural light for some practice with the new camera. Phichit packs his set of lenses and goes by Yuuri’s place with the intent of dragging him to the park with him. The other is happy to follow, glad to take a break from his studies and they take the quicker route towards their destination instead of the one Yuuri usually pursue when he runs. As they walk in companionable silence, Phichit looks around, searching for a sight that catches his attention. When he founds it, they stop for a while, until he is satisfied with his pictures. It could be a ray of sunshine cutting through the leaves, a small animal in a corner, the leaves falling to the ground. 

He is about to resume walking after a shot at some trees in the distance when, glancing at his side, he sees that Yuuri is particularly lost in his thoughts, gaze at the horizon and eyes unfocused. Careful not to make any noise, he slowly turns towards his friend, ready to snap but he is too slow. Yuuri notices and holds his hands in front of his face to hide from the camera. “Phichit! I’m returning home right now if you don’t stop trying to take pictures of me! You promised it!”

“But you looked so cute! I needed to capture the moment!”

Yuuri all but groans. “Please?”

“Fine… What were you thinking about?”

“Oh, I was thinking about last night at the random party. What do you think about the new guys?” Yuuri asks.

“You mean Yuri and Kenjirou?”

“Yes.”

“Kenjirou is very funny. He is basically head over heels for you,” chuckles Phichit.

“He says that he  _ admires _ me… I don’t really understand what he can possibly mean, though.”

“Well, you traveled all the way here from Japan by yourself to study, like him, so he probably relates, besides, you don’t give yourself enough credit. You are a little behind with exams, true, but you always made it your mission to choose the most difficult ones and not give up going out and dancing at  _ your _ club to study for them… I know that you don’t want to acknowledge it, but you are pretty popular around here for that! Not  _Victor_ -popular but, I mean...” 

Yuuri hums in thought. “I still don’t see what is there to _ admire  _ in that.”

Phichit shakes his head, defeated. “As for Yuri, I don’t know his story, but he seems like a very confused person. He is nice too, though!”

“He does, doesn’t he? I’ve had that same impression since I first met him at his birthday party. I tried to ask Victor about it but he said that it is complicated… What I don’t understand is why sometimes he acts like he is trying to follow in Victor’s footsteps while others he claims that he hates it. He also looks a lot sadder than he wants people to know about... I kind of feel bad for him. I hope he had fun at the party, at least.”

“He did, both of them, actually. I can assure that. I won’t be surprised if they became as much fans of the random nights as we are!”

A soft smile creeps upon Yuuri’s lips at that. “How can someone not be a fan of those events...”

“True. Speaking of which, we should go shopping, I need a more sparkling outfit for next time!”

Yuuri laughs. “Is it even possible to find one more sparkling than your latest?”

“Yes? There’s no end to the sparkles!”

“Okay, let’s go when we finish with the pictures.”

“Let’s take some near the lake, there are always interesting people there, then we can leave.”

Yuuri agrees and they walk down the path to the lake standing in the middle of the park. The light is warm and the reflections dance beautifully over the water. A lot of people come here in every season and Phichit loves to take pictures of them, immortalizing instants of their everyday lives. He would also like to photograph his friends, but he has never had much luck with that until Yuuri met Victor and Chris who were born to be in front of a camera.

When he is satisfied with the number of pictures he has gotten, they leave the park to go their usual store in search of new inspirations for their next outfits.

 

_**Today**_

 

“Why don’t we play a game?” Suggests Kenjirou, slurring the words a little and draping his arm around Yuri’s shoulders. Normally, he would jump and shove him away but, considering his current good mood, he just slides out. “Don’t touch me but okay, what did you have in mind?”

Mila hears the exchange and approaches them, pointing a finger to Yuri. “We should do something embarrassing and that involves drinking.”

He rolls his eyes. “As long as it is not ‘Never have I ever’, okay.”

“Truth or dare, then!” She chirps up.

Otabek turns down the volume of the music as they all agree to the game and position themselves in a circle on the floor. Since Mila proposed it, they decide that she would be the one to start. “Okay, so, if the challenged loses, he drinks, if he wins, the other does.”

A chorus of “Okay” spreads around the room.

“Good, so… Kenjirou! Truth or dare?”

The boy pales. He hadn’t expected to be chosen first. “Uhm… Truth?” he tentatively replies.

She smiles mischievously. “How is it to live with our angry kitten? For real?”

Kenjirou relaxes. “This is easy. I really like him! He is a little hard to get sometimes, but we are good friends.”

“We are not,” comments Yuri dryly but everyone swoons and claps so he let it go. Kenjirou just smiles at him.

“Aww, okay, I concede, you sounded honest enough” replies Mila, pleased, drinking from her cup. “Georgi, next.”

“I’ll go with JJ.” Everyone turns at him in surprise, even JJ but he is grinning.

“Dare. The King JJ never backs off from a challenge,” he replies.

“I dare you to let me do your makeup.”

JJ pales significantly but bites his lip and nods, not wanting to go back on his words, while Chris almost doubles over in laughter with the others not so far behind.

Since they are in Kenjirou’s and Yuri’s apartment, it’s up to them to provide the necessary. Kenjirou runs to his shelf to retrieve his beauty-case, glancing at Yuri with a knowing smile that means: if we had a shared case, this would be easier. Yuri huffs in response. 

In the end, they all help in making JJ look the most Georgi-like possible, with a purple shade over his brows, glitter on his cheeks and blue lashes. If they weren’t already laughing before, they surely are now, so much that their sides hurt.

When they finish, they settle back into their previous positions and Georgi grins happily as he drinks. JJ crosses his arms in front of them, pouting but he is actually glad to be the center of the attention. In the end, he shrugs. “Can I go, now?”

“No, it’s Victor’s turn,” says Mila.

Victor doesn’t bat an eye before turning to Yuuri who, without waiting for the question, wears his sly smirk and replies, mellifluous: “Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss someone in the room.”

Yuuri stands and slowly gazes at everyone present, pretending to size them out. He isn’t really like that, everyone knows this, but he likes to play this role of the confident charmer, like he does every time that they go dancing. It makes him feel powerful. The real struggle with his choice doesn’t regard who would be his victim for the night but who would be the safest option. They are all friends here and he wouldn’t want to make things awkward with any of them. He could probably go with Victor or Phichit, since they have enough confidence with him, but he and Phichit use to sleep together so it is better to keep some bounds in their physical interactions and Victor used to have feelings for him so he wouldn’t want to revive them by leading him on. A similar thing goes for Kenjirou who is always over-excited to see him and something like that may confuse his feelings. Mila, Sara, JJ and Georgi are excluded because they aren’t nearly enough close to pull something like that off. This leaves Otabek, Chris or Yuri. Since Otabek is probably straight, it wouldn’t be that much compromising but the balance in their relationship is precarious because none of them understands completely why they get along so well when they go out to train by themselves, so definitely not. He shifts from Yuri to Chris for a while, then flips a mental coin, shrugs and moves to the model, winking. Chris tosses an apologetic look at Victor before giving a smirk of his own in response. There are whoops and cheers all around them.

Yuuri laughs as he pulls away and goes back to his place. He makes eye contact with Yuri for a moment as he does so and he is puzzled by his expression. He gives a questioning look and the other turns around without so much of a glare or a scowl, which makes his behavior even weirder. He doesn’t have time to dwell on it, though, because it is his turn now, considering he is sitting next to Victor.

“Phichit, truth or dare?”

\--

The game continues for a while, growing more and more embarrassing with every round but without any significant trouble, until they decide to quit it because they are running out of options. Yuuri perks up then, feeling particularly bold. “Can I do one last challenge?” 

The others agree and he turns to Yuri. “Truth or dare?” The blonde is taken aback by the question but he has already drunk a mixture of he doesn’t want to know what, ran yelling along the corridors of their compound, earning himself the hatred of his other neighbourhoods and recalled embarrassing stories about his life in Russia with Victor so he feels like he has nothing to lose and he shrugs. “Dare.”

“I knew you would say that. Here,” Yuuri says, offering a package.

“What is it?”

“It’s your birthday present but…” He searches the room until his gaze meets Victor and Otabek, who nod encouragingly. He smiles back and continues. “Since we are playing this game... I dare you to put these on and celebrate the rest of your birthday like that.”

Yuri falters. ‘Put these on’ means he bought him clothes? He gulps and takes the package tentatively. Yuuri fills his cup, preparing to pay for the loss as Yuri starts tearing apart the paper that is enveloping his present. The first thing he sees is the big face of a lion, stopped mid-roar. He quickens his movements then, to reveal a black t-shirt underneath, black ripped jeans and a leopard-printed jacked. His mouth opens in surprise and his eyes fill up with tears. “This… These are amazing! I...” Not knowing what to do with his enthusiasm and awe, he glances at Yuuri in front of him and just manages to say “Thank you” in a breath. The older boy smiles softly at him, genuinely happy to see his reaction and he replies. “You are welcome.”

Yuri glances at Victor with a wide grin before running to his room to better look at his presents without having to maintain his composure in front of the others. Despite the closed door, they can all hear his shriek but no one would ever dare to mention it to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you want, let me know what you think in the comments or [on Tumblr](https://onpointedfeetandbrokendreams.tumblr.com/)! I also post snippets and news about the upcoming chapters, there!


	4. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone has good news and finds himself celebrating it with an unexpected person, while we learn more about their past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! New chapter! Sorry if this took a while but this is the scene that started the whole fic and I wanted to do it justice so... I've rewritten it ten thousand times. I hope you'll enjoy!

####  _**Today** _

 

It’s been a particularly awful day at school. As soon as the lessons finish, Kenjirou leaves the main building, feeling like he could punch a wall with all of his frustration, abandon everything and just take the first plane to Japan to go back home. He sighs, defeated as he drags his feet towards his apartment, fighting back the tears that threaten to fall. He misses everything, his family, his house, the food, the flowers in his garden. Why did he decide to come study here, again? He reaches his apartment and slams the door open but what he sees, makes him smile against his will. There, sitting at the desk in their small place, he finds Yuri studying with his nose buried in a book and a deep frown on his face. He realizes that he really got affectionate to that boy in the past few months. He is still tired and drained out of energy but he knows that he is not alone in facing it and that gives him strength.

“Yuri! Take a break, we have something important to do!” He blurts out, grinning as a sudden idea hits him.

Yuri starts, not expecting someone else to be there and he glares at him. “Don’t go around and yell like that! You scared me!”

“I’m sorry but I just had an amazing idea! Come with me!” He says, not looking sorry at all.

“What idea?” grumbles Yuri, stepping away from the table and closing his books to give his friend complete attention. He stands there with his arms crossed and levels Kenjirou with a look, waiting for an explanation to his behavior.

“I know exactly what you have been doing since your birthday party, Yuri” he announces, pointing a finger at him, “I never said anything because I was afraid that you would yell at me or begin to hide it, but I want you to know that I support you and, to show it, I decided that we should do something together. We’ll go and have a haircut.”

Yuri raises a brow. “This is your great idea? Have a haircut?” He comments sarcastically. Kenjirou isn’t affected at all by his roommate’s lack of enthusiasm and just raises his chin higher. “Yes. We need it, as a further proof of our independence towards the social conventions!”

“O-kay?” Yuri snorts at his serious expression as he says so but he shrugs and grabs his wallet, nonetheless, motioning to the door.

As they exit the building, Yuri is lost in his thoughts. It is true that since his birthday party he has tried to be more like himself. That evening has shown him that people can like him for who he is and those people are the ones that are worth being with. He doesn’t need to be approved by anyone, he needs to be honest with the people who care about him and he can’t do that if he is constantly struggling to hide his true personality and pretend to be just another version of Victor. Getting a haircut can really be a physical reminder of this resolve as much as gradually returning to wear his favorite clothes is and he is glad that Kenjirou offered to do it with him. Not that he is going to tell him that. When he gets back to reality, he notices that Kenjirou’s eyes are unfocused and that his lips are downturned. He realizes that he hasn’t paid much attention to him and he wonders if he is okay. Not wanting to impose too much all of a sudden, he decides to try and cheer him up by distracting him but he makes the resolve to be more careful from now on.

“What are you planning to do?” He asks.

Kenjirou smirks, snapping out of his dwelling. “I want to dye a streak of hair in bright red, right in front of my head, here,” he plays with the longer tuft falling over his forehead. 

”Really?” Yuri is impressed, he doesn’t think that he would dare something like that. “Well, that’s a great idea, I think it would suit you!”

“I’m sure it would! Thank you!” Kenjirou beams. “What about you?”

Yuri is still smiling but his idea now seems lame in comparison. “I just want to restyle the top to have it parted to the side like I used to and trim the lengths a little.”

“It’s about time! Is it, by any chance, because Yuuri gave you those clothes that you want to return to your old style?”

That ruins the peaceful atmosphere that they were sharing in less than a second. “What do I care about him, it’s just a coincidence!” Yuri barks, his face reddening as his hands turn into fists.

“I-I’m sorry, I was just teasing… I think he would be happy about it...”

“I don’t care if he does, I’m doing this just for myself.”

“I know, I know, I just...”

“Don’t.”

Kenjirou closes his mouth and they finish their walk in a tense silence. Their destination is already in sight when Yuri takes a deep breath and shakes his head, breathing out:

“I’m sorry. I overreacted, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. We are doing this thing together, let’s not fight over it, okay?”

Kenjirou nods, relaxing and grins at Yuri, glad that their complicity is back. After another moment, Yuri returns the smile. 

\--

They exit the hair salon jumping up and down with excitement. They know that the way you dress your hair is a trivial thing but they feel more powerful while showing off their new style. It gives them confidence and makes them feel bolder.

“We should do something,” says Kenjirou.

“Yes, we should. How about we go out for dinner tonight? We didn’t do any shopping in the past days, anyway, so we don’t have many options for cooking at home.”

“Okay. How about we go somewhere fancy and wear very inappropriate clothes just to show them that we don’t care?”

Yuri can’t help but laugh. “Why not. It actually sounds like a perfect way to end this day.”

 

####  _**\--** _

 

The phone has been buzzing insistently for what seems like hours and JJ can’t stand it any longer. He is doing his best to remain calm as he waits for his turn in a corner of the room where Victor is finishing his shooting because if his mood is ruined, the pictures are going to be affected by it and he can’t afford it. He has been chosen for the same brand as Victor for the first time and he doesn’t want to miss this chance. The work is for a new stylist that their agency has recently scouted who asked specifically for the two of them. He takes a deep breath when the nagging sound stops just to groan a few seconds later when it starts again. Since he knows that he won’t be able to refrain himself from yelling if he doesn’t do something, he calls out to Victor in the calmest voice he can manage:

“Victor! Someone is trying to blow up your phone, I think it is better if you pick it up if you don’t want me to smash it to pieces to make it stop!”

Victor turns, raises a perfect eyebrow and smiles at him. “You’ll get wrinkles, Jean, if you keep frowning like that. Don’t worry, I’m almost done here.”

“I think it’s really urgent, they have been trying to call you non-stop for a while now.”

“Okay,” says Victor, excusing himself for a moment with the photographer and bouncing towards his bag. He manages to pick up just before the caller gives up on trying. “Hello? Yuuri, hi! What is it?”

A quivering voice answers:

“Victor… I...”

He hears his roommate swallow loudly and his mood changes abruptly to give way to worry. “Do you need me to come there? Are you hurt?”

“No, I… Everything is fine... With the latest assignment I got the final credits I missed, I’m graduating next month!”

Victor almost drops his phone for the surprise. “What? Are you serious? This is amazing! Congratulations! We need to go out and celebrate!” He nods to JJ, who is still sitting in the same position next to him, taking deep breaths to relax and focus on his upcoming photo shoot and he asks:

“JJ, are you and your girlfriend free tonight?”

“I think so, why?” He replies, standing up to face him.

“Yuuri is graduating! We have to call everyone to celebrate it! Will you help me?”

“Yes, sure!”

“Yuuri, are you still there?” Victor calls over the phone.

“Yes? I’m hyperventilating.”

“Where are you? If you go home, Yuri should be there, you can’t be alone right now, you are going to panic.”

“I’m almost there… Okay, I’ll try to see if he or Kenjirou are there.”

“Good, I’ll be over soon with the others!” He says goodbye and hangs up, returning to JJ.

“Okay, so… Let’s split up the work, I’ll call Chris and Phichit, Yuuri is going at Yuri and Kenjirou’s place so they will already know and you can tell Mila and Otabek. Am I forgetting someone?” 

“Sara? Oh and Georgi!”

Victor is pacing the aisle back and forth, visibly excited by the news. “Right, when you call Mila tell her to pass the news to them, too. Thank you. We should go to the Japanese restaurant next to our apartment because he loves it! We usually go there without notice but considering that there’s more of us today, it is better if I call to make a reservation. Tell everybody to send me a confirmation by four.” He rambles and JJ tries his best to keep up with the conversation but it isn’t that easy, considering the speed with which Victor is speaking. He nods every now and then and hopes not to miss out on anything fundamental.

They are interrupted a moment later by the photographer who clears his throat, approaching them. “Excuse me, is your break over? Can we restart?”

Victor pales, realizing that he has completely forgotten where he was. He hurries to put his phone back in his bag, saying:

“I’m sorry, yes, sure, I’m coming.” 

He winks to JJ to remember him of their deal, then he returns to his job, even if he knows that he will be a lot less focused than he was before.

####  _**September - 8 years ago** _

_ Hasetsu, Japan _

 

“Are you almost ready?” Mari asks softly, peeking into Yuuri’s room from behind the half-lidded door. The sun is beginning to set and the light coming through the window is warm. Yuuri is moving lazily around the place, folding a piece of clothing and then putting it back in his wardrobe, unable to set his mind to what to pack in his suitcases and what to leave in Japan.

“I don’t know… How do you get ready to leave for who knows how long to a completely foreign place?” He replies, flopping onto his bed with his head in his hands.

She sighs, taking a few steps forward to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You don’t... But it’s going to be okay, it was your dream to go study abroad, right?”

“Yeah but… What if I’m not good enough? I keep hearing people talk about this Victor, who got there from Russia and in a few years became basically a celebrity? He is the best student and he is a photo model and… If people are like him over there, what can I do?” He whines, voice muffled by his fingers pressed to his mouth.

“Yuuri… He is only one person, not all the people there are like him, otherwise they won’t be talking about him so much, will they?”

“Even if they are not like him, I bet that everyone there is better than me, more dedicated, more passionate, more… everything. Can I stay here?”

When he first decided to apply to college instead of staying in Japan to finish his studies, Yuuri was determined to prove himself and to carve a path for his future. The more the day of his scheduled departure nears, the more anxious he gets. He is going to be thousands of miles away from his family, his friends and everyone and everything he has ever known in his life.

“You are going to regret it if you don’t go, trust me, you wouldn’t like ending up working here in the Onsen with us.”

“I would! I love this Onsen and it’s a perfectly good job.”

Mari levels him with a look. “Yuuri… It was my wish to carry on our family’s business, it was never yours.”

“I know but… Fine, you are right,” he says offering a tired smile. They have never been the most affectionate brother and sister but they have their own ways of showing affection and they have a deep understanding of each other. Mari squeezes his shoulder before withdrawing her hand and returning his smile. “You can do this. Now make up your mind and close these suitcases, they have been hanging around the house for too much time already. Your friends came over to see you, they’ll be waiting for you downstairs when you are done.”

“Okay. I will be there soon. Thank you, Mari.”

She nods and moves to exits the room, leaving him to his packing.

\--

Approximately twenty minutes later, Yuuri comes down to the dining room of the Onsen to find his two best friends, Yuuko and Takeshi waiting for him. “Hi,” he says meekly.

“Come on, Yuuri! Don’t be like that! I’m sure you are going to be fine!” Yuuko says, jumping forward to hug him. Takeshi gives him an encouraging smile from behind her.

“It’s just… I’m sorry, I don’t want to ruin our night out,” replies Yuuri, trying to sound more cheerful than he feels. “What are we doing?”

“We’re going out for dinner and then ice skating!”

Yuuri smiles more sincerely this time. “Okay.”

It’s going to be his last night with his best friends before his departure and he is determined to enjoy it, not spending it brooding in a corner and killing the mood for everyone.

They walk slowly for the streets of Hasetsu, to give Yuuri time to bask in the familiar sight, soak up as much of it as he can, knowing how he will miss it in just a few days. They pass near the Hasetsu castle, continue along the seashore and all the while they talk, recalling their time together in high school and making promises not to lose touch with one another. When they finally arrive at the ice rink, after having dinner in their usual restaurant, a sense of deep melancholy settles on them, despite every effort they have been doing to avoid it. Hasetsu’s ice rink is a small one, within foot distance from the center of the town and it is their tradition to go there whenever there’s an important occasion or someone is upset for some reason and needs a distraction, or if they just feel like spending some time together and have nothing else to do. By now they know the owners so they spend some time chatting with them as they put their skates on and if they remain on the ice even after the place is officially closed to the public, no one says anything.

Eventually, they have to call it a night and leave. Yuuri hugs both of his friends tightly as he says goodbye to them and parts to return to his house. They wish him luck and he tries his best not to cry but as soon as he is alone, he can’t contain the tears any longer. He has never been an outgoing person and he has been lucky to find two friends like them. He loves them and he is sure that he is going to miss them. On top of that, he is scared that once he leaves he is going to be completely alone in a place where everyone is better than him and wouldn’t care about him in the slightest.

 

####  _**Today** _

 

Yuuri honestly thought that he had overcome his anxiety for good. He has never had trouble breathing since he arrived here from Japan and the majority of the times he even feels confident enough in himself. He knows who he is now, how people look at him and what he can and can’t do. It turns out that one of the things that he can’t do is dealing with his upcoming graduation. He feels completely overwhelmed by different kinds of emotions as he walks towards his apartment. The mere thought of being alone is making him shiver, so he decides to do as Victor suggested and ask Yuri and Kenjirou if he can stay at their place until he returns.

He knocks on Yuri’s door and the young Russian opens with a scowl:

“What is it, pig? You look awful.”

Despite the dryness in his tone, there’s concern in his eyes. Yuuri looks at him pleadingly. “Yeah, I don’t feel very well. Can I stay here for a while?”

“I… Sure, Victor would kill me if I refuse. Would you like some tea? I know where Kenjirou keeps your favorite, I can steal some of it.”

Yuuri manages a chuckle even in his distressed state. “No, thank you, it’s okay… Actually, I think that it might be better if I do something more… active? To calm my nerves… Are you busy? Would you like to go ice skating?”

“Ice skating? With you _? _ ” Yuri asks in disbelief. “Why would you want to go ice skating with me?”

“I used to go to the ice rink with my friends all the times back in my hometown when I was upset. I know that they have one here, I’ve been there a couple of times too. If you don’t want to come it’s okay, I just... Rather not be alone today.”

Yuri mutters something unintelligible under his breath but, in the end, he relents. “Okay, fine, I’ll come. But it’s only because...”

“Victor would kill you, I know. Don’t worry. Thank you, anyway. Do you know how to skate?”

“Pff, who do you take me for? I’m Russian, ice-skating flows in our veins! I’m basically a pro. I could beat you while blinded and with my skate reversed.”

Yuuri gives him a sly smirk at that. “We’ll see about that.”

They head out of the apartment and basically run until they reach the ice rink, both eager to prove better than the other now that the challenge has been thrown down. Yuri almost trips on his skates as soon as he puts them on but he only growls at Yuuri as he laughs, not even deigning him with an insult. At first, they skate in lazy circles, everyone at his own pace, to breathe in the cold air of the rink and appreciate the feeling of their feet gliding over the smooth surface. Then, someone passes the other picking up the pace and suddenly, it is war. They run like crazy, chasing each other, trying to be faster and faster and making their way between the unaware people who only wanted to spend some quiet time on the ice. Yuri wasn’t lying when he said that he could be almost a professional. He skates gracefully, his blades never too hard on the ice and his movements sharp but tiredness soon takes its toll, giving Yuuri the chance to pass him and take the lead. He turns his eyes to meet Yuri’s just for a second. The ice, along with the Random Nights, is one of the few places in the World where he feels completely in control. Yuri is empowered by the new wave of rage that the other's defiant look gives him and he manages to catch up again but they have to stop when one of the rink guards scolds them and begins to watch them closely with a menacing expression. They slow down, then, and collapse on a bench, laughing until their stomach hurt and tears collect at the corner of their eyes.

“By the way, I won,” Yuuri says, when he manages to catch his breath.

“No way, you stopped first!” Replies the Russian, poking him with his elbow.

“Just because I thought that the security guy would murder us with his glares! The look on his face was hilarious!”

“Tch. If glares could kill, today’s competition wouldn’t even have started.”

Yuuri chuckles. “True. With how many times you glared at me in the past year... Thank you, by the way, I know that you would have rather spent your afternoon differently.”

“It was fine,” the Russian says with a shrug.

“Hm...”

“Hey, would you like to have an ice cream or something?” Asks Yuri, scratching the back of his neck.

Yuuri raises a brow, surprised by the offer. “Sure!”

The walk towards the ice-cream shop is weird, for the whole time they look everywhere but at each other and no one can seem to find anything to say but they also don’t want to leave so they pretend to be tired from the race and proceed contentedly in silence. When they have almost finished eating their ice-cream, Yuri starts shifting awkwardly on his spot. “Hey, so… You said that you used to skate a lot when you were in Japan? Did you take classes, too?” 

Yuuri releases a breath of relief and he replies easily:

“I would have liked to, but I never did in the end, it was just something me and my friends used to do to spend some time together and forget the rest of the World for some time. Did you?”

“I took some lessons when I was a kid, you know before… I transferred here.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Yuri interrupts him before he can finish his sentence:

“No, no, it’s okay.”

Silence falls again then and, this time, it is even more uncomfortable. Yuri clenches his fists. “Should we head back?”

“If you want to, I don’t know if Victor has already finished his set, though. We can stay a little longer if you want?”

He doesn’t really know how to reply but he knows that he doesn’t want to leave so he shrugs. “Whatever. Let’s have a walk, then, we didn’t even stretch after we skated, we are going to get sore.”

“Hm… True, we were too busy running from that man.” He chuckles and Yuri can feel the corners of his own lips turn upward. The awful feeling that he was getting while thinking about his parents begins to fade and he relaxes as they leave the shop. 

“Do you miss them? The friends you were talking about?” He asks.  


“A lot. They are my best friends. I call them every day but it’s not the same, they are engaged now, you know? And they had to tell me the news on the phone because I wasn’t there when it happened. I missed out on a lot of things.”

“But you have your weird Thai friend? And Victor? Aren’t you happy here, too?”

“Of course I am but Hasetsu will always be my home, it’s different. I’m sorry, I know that this conversation is probably hard for you, we can change topic if you want? Why don’t you tell me something else? About your studies or how snob and insufferable Victor is, whatever you want, really.”

Yuri is baffled but in a positive way, the two of them have never talked much but Yuuri seems to get him more than he thought he would. First the clothes he gave him, then this attention. Not even Victor, who has always been like family to him would have thought of something like that.

“I used to love cooking pirozhki with my parents and go to the ice rink with them to show them what I learned in my classes. I don’t remember much about Russia but I remember our house and the little things we did together.”

“It’s good that you can remember them so well, isn’t it? This way, what you shared with them will live on.”

“Yeah, it is. People usually just say that they are sorry for me and that it must have been hard but I really like to talk about these things.”

“I can understand you, in a way… I know it’s different but I haven’t seen my parents for almost eight years.”

“What was your favorite thing to do with them?” Yuri asks, turning expectantly. 

“I think cooking goes for me too. My mother is amazing at that.”

“I would like to taste real Japanese cuisine once, it’s only fair since you ate our special pirozhkis at my birthday.”

Yuuri’s eyes widen when an idea hits him:

“We should do a cooking competition. Me and Kenjirou versus you and Victor, what do you think?”

 

####  _**September - 8 years ago** _

 

He has been taking full-time English courses all summer to prepare for this, he has been talking to online friends in English and he has been practicing as many times as he could with the patrons in the onsen. Yet, nothing he did prepared him for this. He lands and takes the bus to reach the campus as the welcoming letter instructed him to do but for the entirety of his travel he feels dizzy with the background noise made of all the foreign conversations happening around him. He isn’t used to not understanding what people are saying and it’s alienating to be there when no matter how hard he focuses, he can’t seem to take a grasp on any of the things that are being said.

When he finally reaches the campus he takes a moment to appreciate his surroundings. There is a park just outside of the compound he is going to stay in, with trees, benches and picnic tables full of people studying or lazing around. The building itself is very pretty, with stone walls and big windows, which is unusual for a college dormitory. He steps into the hallway and he is instantly greeted with the silence that he has been desperately craving since he landed. He takes a deep breath and begins to look for the place that he is going to share with another student. The quiet doesn’t last long because as soon as he spots the room with the tag “Katsuki, Chulanont” on it and he hesitantly knocks, a boy his age bursts out of the door with the widest smile he has ever seen. 

“Hi! You must be Yuuri! I’m Phichit, nice to meet you,” he says.

Yuuri blinks, mildly confused. “Hello? Nice to meet you too.”

“Welcome to our room! It’s not big but it’s nice, come in!”

He lets Phichit lead him inside and show him the room. By his accent, he doesn’t sound like an English native speaker either. If he is a transfer student too, maybe they can help each other with the language barrier.

“Where are you from?” Asks Yuuri, putting his suitcase beside his wardrobe with the intention of unpacking it later.

“I’m from Thailand! What about you?”

“Japan.” He replies. “I’ve never been to Thailand but I heard it’s amazing, I would love to visit it one day.”

“It is amazing, yes… You should come with me next time I go home!” The other replies and even if he thinks that the offer is weird since they have known each other for no more than five minutes, Yuuri strangely doesn’t feel awkward about it. On the contrary, he finds himself completely at ease with his future roommate.

“Well, why not! Thank you. How long have you been here?”

“A couple of months but I’m still struggling to get used to things.”

Yuuri chuckles. “Yeah, I can relate to that. It will take ages for me to adapt to be here.”

“We should do something to celebrate our new friendship!” Phichit says with a smile that Yuuri can’t help but return. “Sure, what do you have in mind?”

“Something American!”

“And what does it mean? You are the expert around here.”

“No, I’m not… I really don’t know. Maybe if we go outside we’ll figure it out? We should, you know,  _ blend in _ .”

“Okay.” Yuuri agrees and they go for a walk around the campus. He knows that Phichit probably has already done this tour more than once and that he is doing it for his sake but they are having fun, pretending to be Americans and imitating what they see other people do. He feels incredibly grateful that chance paired him up with Phichit, maybe he really has already found a friend in this foreign place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading!  
> If you want, as usual, let me know what you think about my little story!


	5. May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something ends and something new begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!! I am really, really sorry for the delay but I'm writing a piece for a zine and it's draining all of my writing energy. I had to go back and reconnect with this story and I re-wrote this chapter many times, I hope you'll like it! The good news is that I have a lot of things already written for the next updates as well, so they shouldn't take this much time!!

**_Today_**

  
  
  
The day of Yuuri’s graduation everyone feels like time is suspended. The sky is grey and the air static like it is about to rain but it does nothing to taint the happiness and pride in their chests. They have all seen their friend struggle and fight for years and he has been an inspiration to every one of them for one reason or another, so much that he has gradually become one of the pillars of their little, mismatched group. That’s the reason why, as they watch him finally succeed, they can’t help the feeling of contentment that settles on them. They have all gathered to cheer on him and no one is immune to the emotion of the moment when they call out his name. Phichit is crying, Victor is crying, and even Yuri has one corner of his mouth turned upward into a half smile.

The least excited, predictably, is Yuuri himself, who looks around with wide eyes and a frozen expression, unable to realize that this is happening. Reality catches up to him only when he walks out of the building, feeling lighter than he has in years and seeing the grins on his friends’ faces. He begins to laugh then, inhibited and free and even hugs them all, forgetting his usual insecurities with those kinds of physical interactions.

They keep crying and laughing and celebrating until late into the night and it is only when they wish each other goodnight to separate that Yuuri opens his mouth to speak and one simple sentence manages to tear apart the bubble in which they had been floating up until then into a million pieces.

“Next week I’ll come with you to the last Random Night, then I’ll go back to Japan.”

It takes some minute for the words to sink in and for their brain to understand their exact meaning.

“What?” Yuri is the first to react, yelling with a betrayed expression that has Yuuri flinching. He bites his bottom lip, not knowing what to say.

Victor puts his hand over Yuri’s shoulder to calm him down and prevent him from rabidly jumping on Yuuri to punch him in the face. The younger boy shakes him off and leaves without turning back. 

“Don’t worry about him, he’ll understand, it’s just… He doesn’t like changes,” Victor explains, trying to sound soothing but considering he isn’t taking the news very well himself, he doesn’t know if he manages it.

“I’m sorry,” says Yuuri meekly, scratching the back of his neck and looking away.

“Why are you telling us like this? Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Blurts out Phichit, who has been silently looking between Victor and him up until then.

“I decided it only a couple of days ago and I didn’t know how to tell you… But, I mean, it’s not so unexpected, is it? I’m not Victor, I won’t be continuing my studies and… I need to go home, We’ll see each other again and we can keep in touch, it’s not like I’m disappearing from Earth.”

“No, you are just going to the other side of the Globe! I get you, don’t get me wrong, I’ve always known that you missed your Country and your home and I understand it but we’ve been friends for eight years, we have learned how to live here together, we have shared the room and complained about every course and assignment together, we have… I just hoped to have a little more warning before something like this happened.”

Yuuri looks apologetic but he doesn’t say anything more. He mutters “I’m sorry,” before running away as well, going back to his apartment and leaving the two of them to gape at his retreating figure, too shocked to process what happened.

\--

Yuri tosses and turns in his bed that night, unable to fall asleep. He pulls the comforter over his head just to discard it because he feels too hot, then he is cold again and he grabs another cover. He hisses, tousling the newly added cover and the cushions and scrambling out of it. He goes to the kitchenette in the corner of their apartment, hoping to find some solace in a glass of cold water but drinking it only makes his stomach feel funnier. He swears in Russian under his breath and puts the glass down with more force than is probably necessary.

“Yuri? What’s happening?” A sleepy voice asks as Kenjirou opens his own bedroom door, rubbing his eyes.

Yuri flinches at the appearance of another person, as if he had forgotten that he wasn’t alone in the house. “Nothing. Go to sleep.” He snaps, his voice dry. 

He realizes that the absence of the usual “chan” after his name has made him feel weird. It isn’t like Kenjirou to pass on an opportunity to mock him with that nickname that he knows he hates and it is making the atmosphere around them too serious for Yuri to bear.

“Do you want to talk?” Kenjirou asks, ignoring Yuri’s attempts at closing up and shut him out.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Yuri...”

“I’m not feeling well, I’ve probably eaten something bad at the party.”

Kenjirou is having none of it. He levels him with a glare, now completely awake and he repeats, more pointedly this time:

“Yuri… Do you want to talk?”

Yuri shifts his weight from his heels to his toes and back again but keeps his mouth shut, lips pressed close into a thin line.

“Fine, if you won’t talk to me, I’ll go call Victor,” Kenjirou says as a warning as he moves in a beeline for the door.

“No, no, please, don’t go there!” 

Yuri’s voice sounds so small and scared that Kenjirou stops. He turns, slowly and his gaze softens.

“What happened? Tell me! I left earlier because I wanted to leave some time to just you, Phichit and Victor. I should have stayed with you, shouldn’t I?”

“No, it’s just…”

“What?” He pushes, approaching him but without closing the last few feet between them to leave him his space.

The words leave Yuri’s mouth before he can process what he is admitting. “Yuuri is going back to Japan in two weeks.”

He bites his tongue and turns around, wishing against hope that Kenjirou didn’t hear, or understand, or that he can go back in time and un-say that simple sentence. He closes his eyes, to pretend that he isn’t there, that this is just a really awful dream but he is brought back to reality when a hand lands lightly on his shoulder.

He doesn’t need to explain himself any further because Kenjirou knows, he has known for all this time and he feels grateful that he can turn around and simply bury his face on the older boy’s chest without the need to speak, because he couldn’t express his thoughts or his feelings, he couldn’t make sense of them, even if he wanted to, which he certainly does not.

For some reason, Kenjirou already knows and for now it is okay. He will rationalize and be upset in the morning, when his brain will restart to function properly and his heart will stop beating so fast.  
  
  


**_July - Three years ago_**

  
  
  
Jonathan is tapping excitedly at his phone. He has a bright grin on his face and his eyes are glinting. Victor watches in amusement from his spot on the couch next to him. “Has something good happened?”

“It has, actually! Tonight we are going out,” his roommate says cheerfully in reply.

“We?” Asks Victor, perplexed, his voice sounds a little guarded. It wouldn’t be the first time that he and Jonathan go out together but it has always been almost by chance before, and always with other people around.

“Yes, a friend of mine invited both of us to a club. If you aren’t busy, of course.”

Victor expertly suppresses the usual pang of disappointment. “Sure, I can come. Where are we going?”

Jonathan launches himself into a very detailed description of this new fancy club that opened last week and where everyone that matters go and soon after into an equally detailed listing of exactly who those people that matters are. Victor nods and forces his lips to remain upturned but his smile his everything but sincere and it couldn’t fool anyone. 

Except from Jonathan, apparently, because his roommate keeps talking and talking, his happiness unaffected.

They go to their separate rooms after that, to change into clothes more suitable for the place and after Jonathan considers them fashionable enough, they finally move out of the dorm and towards the club. There is a car waiting for them outside, with two of Jonathan’s friends already packed up inside.

“Hello! It was about time you introduced us to your roommate, Jon!” One of them says. The smile Jonathan gives her is smug as he motions for Victor to go inside, not bothering to introduce him to them.

The car ride is spent in silence, the girl Jonathan has spoken to before - whom, Victor realizes, he still doesn’t know the name - spends the entire ride checking him out and giggling, without even trying to be subtle about it. 

“Can we take a picture together?” She asks as they are about to reach their destination.

Victor nods, not wanting to disappoint Jonathan or his friends and he shuffles near her to pose with his trademarked smile. He is paid to smile like that in pictures every day, so he could fake it in his sleep.

The rest of the evening passes like that, with more people coming to see him, not meet him and more people asking for selfies with him. He is about to give up and go back to their apartment, with or without Jonathan, when he spots a familiar figure among the crowd. He deflates, all the efforts he has been putting into staying upright to maintain his image and his appearance instantly fail him and he releases the breath he has been holding since the moment he joined Jonathan’s friends hours before.

“Chris,” he yells in a breath, feeling the tears collecting at the corners of his eyes.

The man perks up at the mention of his name and turns around to look for the person who called it. When his gaze meets Victor’s, understanding dawns on him. He offers a tired smile, full of all the talking and arguments they have been having on the matter of Victor’s roommate and opens his arms in invitation. Victor runs to him and they dance together, not looking back and pretending that there is no one else in the club but the two of them. 

“Victor, you can’t go on like this. You need to talk to him or kick him out of the dorm!” Chris says softly as they are drinking from a colorful glass, breathing in the cold air just outside of the club.

“And even if I changed roommate what do you think would change? I would find another one just like him and it would be exactly the same.”

Chris sighs. “I wish I could live with you. But I don’t study here so they won’t let me.”

“I know, darling, don’t worry about it”, Victor replies, leaning his head on his colleague’s shoulder. “Can I sleep at your place tonight?”

“You know that you don’t even have to ask, Vic. But you can’t hide away forever.”

Victor nods meekly and Chris tightens the grip on his shoulder, trying to soothe him.

“Let’s go, come on.”

\--

Whenever he enters Chris’ place he feels like he can breathe again, like a burden has been lifted from his shoulders, but he also knows that the place isn’t his, Chris is right, he is hiding.

They prepare the second bed in Chris’ room with practiced motions and share a cup of tea before going to bed, talking animatedly and gossiping over the newest stylist their agency has scouted or the juiciest news about one or the other of their colleagues. When they drift off to sleep, the air is bittersweet around them.  
  
  


**_April - One year ago_ **

  
  
  
Phichit breathes deeply, staring at the door in front of him. He repeats for the hundredth time that he can do it to try and steady his heartbeat. ‘Fine, now or never,’ he thinks, entering the room.

“Yuuri, we have to talk,” he announces, keeping his eyes shut.

Yuuri hesitates. “Okay… Sure, actually I needed to talk to you, too.”

“Well, remember Leo and Guang Hong? You met them at my professor’s art exhibition?”

“Of course, Leo is the musician right?”

“Yes, that’s the one,” he replies. Then, before he can have second thoughts, he blurts it out:

“Basically, they applied for a space in the art building, there are bigger rooms there to allow people to practice and… They obtained it and they have room for another person. It would be amazing to have space for my photographs, I could even develop them myself with the extra space there and...” 

He knows that he is rambling but he can’t stop himself. Thankfully, Yuuri seems to notice as well because he extends his hand to stop him and he giggles. “Really? That was what you have been stressing about in the past few days? I thought your art project had gone bad!”

“Oh, no, the project actually went pretty well, but… I’m sorry, Yuuri, I love living with you, but it would really help me if I want to go through with this photography thing...”

“I love living with you too! Don’t worry at all, I was actually trying to ask you a similar thing.”

“Really?” Phichit can see that his friend has been anxious about this conversation as much as he did because he relaxes, his smile incredibly easier now.

“Yes… Victor is going through a major crisis but he doesn’t want to move out of his apartment because he believes that it won’t change anything. And he can’t keep living with Jonathan, either, that man drains him of all his energy with how he treats him so I would like to ask Victor to live with me.”

“Isn’t Victor in love with you? Don’t you think you are going to lead him on or something?”

Yuuri shakes his head firmly. “It’s a phase, I know it. He likes me just because I’m honest with him but I’m not really his type, and I made it perfectly clear that I don’t like him that way.”

“If you are sure it’s a good idea, I’ll support you. And feel incredibly less guilty for abandoning you to chase my career!”

“This sound like a movie plot,” Yuuri says with a chuckle. “I’m sure, thank you Phichit. He helped me a lot with my studies and now I have the chance to pay him back. Let’s cook something to celebrate, we’ll discuss the details more in the morning!”

“This is a wonderful idea!” Phichit agrees and hugs him happily before wandering into the kitchen.

They prepare their favorite dinner, a mix of Thai and Japanese recipes only they in the World could pull off and eat sitting lazily on their couch. It’s a bit nostalgic, knowing that it may be one of the last times they are able to do something like this, but they had always known that their paths were different and they are happy that they have been able to share the journey for a while like they did.

\--

Packing is harder than they expected. All the memories they made together in the years they have lived here resurface, even sorting through receipts and flyers brings silent tears to their eyes and it takes them way more time than necessary to split their belongings. 

When the room is finally empty, they stand in the entryway, hugging one another and looking at it with a mix of affection and sadness.

“It’s been an honor living with you, Yuuri,” Phichit says with solemnity.

“It’s been an honor for me too,” replies Yuuri, trying not to laugh. “Besides, we’ll keep seeing each other every day!”

“I know… Thank you, for being my roommate for so long.”

“It’s me who should thank you for putting up with my insecurities at the beginning.”

This time, Phichit really snorts. “Insecurities is the understatement of the year.”

Yuuri sticks out his tongue at him and Phichit smiles. “Well, I guess this is it then.”  
  
  


Yuuri nods. “Let’s go.”  
  
  


**_Today_**

  
  
  
Yuri sits stubbornly on his couch, his hair a mess and his night clothes on. Kenjirou can’t count how many times he has sighed in the last hour.

“Yuri, you are going to regret it if you don’t come. You are going to feel bad about it for ages and I’ll have to put up with all of it.”

“I won’t regret it, I’ve made up my mind. Leave me alone and go, already.”

“How can I go and leave you like this? What kind of a friend would I be?”

“You are not my friend, you are my roommate, we split the bills and that’s it.”

Kenjirou tries not to feel hurt because he knows that he doesn’t mean it, he is just suffering but after everything they have been through together, it’s still difficult to hear him talk like that.

“Yuri please… I want to go and I don’t want to leave you behind. Please, I’m begging you. Does it mean nothing to you that I‘m begging you?”

“Stop trying to make me feel guilty, you perfectly know that it won’t work.”

“Fine. Do what you want, then. Self-destruct as it pleases you. I’m going.”

He marches towards the door without a second glance, knowing he won’t be able to go through with what he said, otherwise. Once he has slammed the door shut behind, he lets himself sigh for one last time. He has always known that Yuri is too stubborn for his own good but he hoped that, given the circumstances, he would listen. He tries not to feel too bad for leaving him as he closes the few steps that separate his door from Victor’s. After all, this the last chance to see Yuuri before he leaves for him, too.

\--

When Kenjirou tells him that Yuri refused to come, Victor is furious. He thought that he was making progress, considering how he had come to terms with the fact that you can’t be liked by everyone - something with which Victor himself had struggled more than a little - and he had stopped hiding his personality behind Victor’s clothes and hairstyle. Apparently, it wasn’t enough. He debates over whether to go and try to talk to him, but if Yuri has decided to close off to the World, there’s really nothing anyone can say or do to make him change his mind. 

“Maybe it will serve him as a lesson,” he says in the end, his lips tightened but the anger not reaching his eyes.

“Maybe...” echoes Kenjirou, not sounding very convinced.

“Let’s go, then. Yuuri, are you ready?”

“Yes,” the boy answers simply, moving away from the mirror where he was fixing his hair. His expression is unreadable which, Victor knows, is never a good sign.

The night goes along as planned, even if everyone feels sorry for Yuri’s absence. He is the only one missing for their group to be completed and the dynamic is weird without him. Kenjirou stays in a corner, despite Phichit’s attempts at making him feel more involved, JJ has no one to tease and Otabek seems to feel like a fish out of water. Victor sees them but he can’t take his attention away from Yuuri because he has to check that his anxiety doesn’t take over. After all, it’s true that he is going back home, but he is leaving behind the people that have been his friends and family for nearly eight years.

The music, as always, brings them all together, erasing which that divide them and after a while, Yuuri gets carried away by the eyes on him and manages to get into his character for the dance.

Before leaving, everyone insists that he goes to say goodbye to the owners of the place, because they know he will be very missed.

They get back to their apartment quietly, leaving Kenjirou to his own and only when they are inside, Yuuri lets some of his true emotions be seen.

“I hope this was the right choice, Victor,” he says.

Victor doesn’t need to ask to know what he is talking about. “You’ll figure it out, don’t worry! And if you decide that your future was here, you can always come back!” He replies, offering a smile.

“I guess…”

“Don’t worry, Yuuri, you won’t lose any of us, we’ll come to see you, I’ve always wanted to visit Japan, after all!”

“Yes, but...”

“It’s going to be okay! Think about Yuuko, and Takeshi, and your family!”

“You are right... I missed them and I’m happy to be with them again but now I’m going to miss you, too!”

“I know, and we’ll miss you, a lot. Even Yuri… He just doesn’t know how to say it.”

Yuuri doesn’t answer to that but his lips purse into a grimace. He prepares for the night, purposefully ignoring the topic so Victor tries again, his voice soft and hushed:

“I’m sorry that he didn’t come tonight.”

“It’s okay. Goodnight Victor. See you tomorrow. Thank you again for offering to take me to the airport.”

“Don’t mention it. Goodnight Yuuri.”  
  
  


**_December - Two years ago_**

  
  
  
The club is packed. If it wasn’t for Yuuri’s familiarity with the place and its hidden entrances, they wouldn’t have been able to get inside at all. Despite Chris’ numerous attempts at dissuading Victor from bringing Jonathan along, the Russian has been unmovable on the matter, so there they are, Victor and Jonathan, Chris, Yuuri and Phichit. Chris would feel like a fifth wheel if it wasn’t that he is Christophe Giacometti, and he doesn’t care about this sort of things, plus he needs to look after his best friend and he couldn’t wait to meet this famous Yuuri, Victor has been talking about non stop for the last few months. 

As they reach Phichit and Yuuri’s usual spot to dance, Chris can’t help but be stunned by the two of them. “We should go out with them more often,” he tells Victor, whispering into his ear to prevent the others from listening.

“Why? They are just two weirdos with too much glitter on their clothes,” steps in Jonathan, barely looking away from his phone.

Victor is about to reproach him for being mean with their friends, when he is interrupted by Yuuri’s laugh.

“There’s no such thing as too much glitter,” he says, winking at them.

Chris joins him in his laughter as he says, louder this time: 

“I’m already in love with him, Victor.”

Jonathan grits his teeth and walks away from the group while Victor stares at Yuuri with an expression torn between amused and awed. The younger man blushes and he turns apologetic. “I’m sorry if I overstepped, it’s just… I really can’t stand it when people judge me like that without even knowing who I am.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry. It was his fault, he deserved it,” Victor replies, waving his hands as to wipe out Yuuri’s embarrassment.

“I have probably no right to say this, Victor, but why do you keep going out with him? He looks like he wants to be near you just to show you off with his friends.”

The words have Victor instantly defensive. “You’ve met him three times at most, how can you say that?” 

“Vic,” intervenes Christophe, “he is right, and you know it. I’ve seen Jonathan with you a lot more than three times and I always tell you the same thing. He doesn’t care about you if there aren’t other people around. The fact that Yuuri noticed in such a short time should tell you something.”

He looks between his two friends, feeling cornered. “Well, I live with him and there’s no way he doesn’t like me. Everyone likes me.” He spits before turning around and following after his roommate.

“Christophe, I am really sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Yuuri says meekly, without meeting his eyes.

“I don’t really know you, Yuuri, but every single word you said was correct and you are one of the few people in the World who found the courage to speak them to him and probably one of the few he would listen to, so don’t you dare beat yourself up. You have my complete approval.”

Phichit reaches out with his hand to Yuuri’s back to comfort him. “Maybe you have seen Jonathan three times, but you have been with Victor almost every day in the past month or so and you have every right to speak, that’s what friends do.”

“Well, while our Victor is after some good old unnecessary drama, why don’t we go back to dancing?” Asks Chris, stepping between them and putting his arms around both of their shoulders.

They chuckle, Yuuri still a little sadly but they do as he says, there’s nothing else they can do until Victor is willing to open his eyes.

\--

“Jonathan?” He calls, trying to recognize the familiar mop of dark hair among the crowd.

“Hi Victor,” the boy replies, appearing to his side. ”Why don’t we go home? There’s no one here, tonight.”

“Hey, don’t be mad, I’m sure that Yuuri didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but you shouldn’t have said that to him either,” Victor says trying to reconcile them.

“It’s okay, I don’t care about them.”

“They are my friends, why don’t you give them a chance?”

Jonathan shrugs and just motions for the door, clearly proving his intentions.

“I think I’ll stay here with them a little bit more,” replies Victor, “If you want to go, it’s okay, I’ll see you later.”

“Okay. I’ll take a cab. Goodnight,” he waves as he moves to exit the club. 

Victor’s head buzzes and a stream of questions overlap in his thoughts. Is it true that Jonathan doesn’t like him? How is it possible, everyone acts like that around him, so who is it that really likes him? Chris? With his constant teasing? Little Yuri with all of his swearing and insults? Yuuri who isn’t afraid to tell the truth to his face even when it hurts? What about all the other people, aren’t their praisings and their smiles true? Has he been fooling himself all this time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! If you want, tell me what you think about the chapter or the story, I would love to hear your opinions!


	6. June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the less involved people are the most observant ones.  
> Things start to fall into their place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I don't really know if anyone is still following this because I took way too much time to post this chapter and I'm really, really sorry. I love this story so much and this particular chapter is very important so I wanted it to feel right and I had to rewrite the entire thing a couple of times because there was always something missing. Now I'm pretty happy with how it turned out so I hope you'll like it as well. If you are still reading this story, thank you very much!! <3

####  _**Today** _

 

As soon as Chris enters the apartment, he feels like something is missing. It’s only been a couple of weeks but Yuuri’s absence can be physically felt in that space. It’s too silent and empty. He thinks he can understand now what Victor meant when he told him.

“It must be weird, isn’t it? You two had really made this place  _ yours  _ in the past year.”

“Yeah… But it was always meant to be temporary so we’ll be fine, I just need some time to get used to it.”

Chris moves away from the door to let their other guest in.

“Are you going to find someone else, now?” Asks JJ, walking inside.

“Maybe not… I’ve been thinking about this for a while and this might be the chance to finally take that further step and have my own place. Outside of this campus. Between the work here in the University which is going pretty smoothly and everything, I think I can afford it.”

“You sure can. Will Yuri be fine without you next door, though?”

Victor smiles fondly at the mention of his little friend. “He is growing up, he is not so dependant on me anymore. Besides, I won’t be that far away, he will always be able to reach out to me if he needs anything.”

“Hm…” mumbles Chris. flopping down on the couch. “It’s true… But he seems a little off lately. I don’t know what’s happening.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure we all know what’s happening, don’t we?” Says JJ, making his way to the kitchen to help Victor prepare some drinks.

“What do you mean?” Victor asks absentmindedly as he grabs the cups from the cabinet.

JJ stops on his tracks. “You seriously don’t know? He had the worst crush on Yuuri and now that he is gone and they didn’t have the chance to sort things out between them, it’s hard for him to get over it.”

Both Chris and Victor turn to him and gape. “What??”

“Are you two for real? It was incredibly obvious?” he replies, looking between them with a raised brow, disbelief clear on his face.

Chris stands there with his mouth open and he seriously considers it. Replays in his mind all the moments he has shared with Yuri and the only thing he can do is wonder how blind they had been. Were they so busy worrying about Victor’s feelings that they hadn’t noticed?

“I’ve always known that he liked his free spirit and that he admired him, I did insisted on introducing them because I wanted Yuuri to be an inspiration to him, but I had never considered he might like him that way… Now I feel kind of bad for always blabbering about how amazing he is and how much I would have liked to date him...” says Victor, probably getting to a similar conclusion as Chris while staring at the wall in front of him like it had all the answers written over.

“Wow… And here I thought _ I _ was the outsider in our group,” comments JJ.

“Do the others know?” Asks Victor.

“I don’t know about anyone but surely little Minami and Otabek do. And I think Phichit, maybe?”

“No but I mean… Does  _ Yuuri  _ know?”

“I’m not sure. The two of them had a really emotional conversation at the skate rink? Some time before Yuuri’s graduation? But I don’t know the details of what they talked about because as you probably know it’s impossible to get Yuri to talk about that day without him trying to punch someone… Assuming you did notice at least that?”

Victor and Chris share another panicked look. Really, how blind they have been?

It’s JJ’s turn to gape now. “You didn’t??”

“Tell us everything you know, Jean, please.”

\--

It’s not unusual for Chris, Victor and JJ to go out together after work, even without the others. They have been colleagues for a while now and, especially since Victor and JJ has been chosen to work for the same new brand, they found out they have more things in common than they previously thought. 

That night, though, feels more like a mission than anything else. JJ has always known he was a gossip. He loves to know everything about people’s lives and love-lives especially and he likes to tease them about it. Even more so, he likes to help if he can. He is really happy to have his amazing girlfriend in his life, he doesn’t know what he would do without her so he thinks it’s only natural that he wishes for his friends to find the same connection and the same love and support in other people.

What he didn’t expect was to know more about little Yuri than Victor, who has been like a big brother to him ever since he knew them. So he takes it upon himself to change that and make sure Victor sees everything he needs to.

Because if there’s one person who can help those two overcome their differences and their stubborness, it’s Victor. For how much the man claims to be in love with the Japanese Yuuri, everyone can see that things are different between them, he cares deeply both about him and little Yuri and he wouldn’t be selfish if it’s for the sake of their happiness.

  


####  _**October - Two years ago** _

  


Apparently, this new student of his is the only person in the entire World who looked disappointed upon meeting him. This new student who is also an amazing dancer and an incredibly hot person. It’s totally unfair. Why him, of all people? Why couldn’t Aaron from his Literature class be the one to think that? Or Kevin, from the cafeteria, or literally everyone else? No, it had to be the most gorgeous person Victor has ever laid his eyes on. Or maybe he is just being dramatic, Chris always tells him he tends to do that. Anyway, after being bitter about the fact for a couple of days, he decided that there is a more mature way to handle it: making Katsuki Yuuri change his mind. After all, it could be interesting to have a challenge for once, so he’ll be going to woo him and he’ll be doing it starting today, the day of their next scheduled meeting. 

Ignoring Jonathan’s protests, he puts some cologne on, combs his hair with extra care and taking way too much time and arrives at the appointment with one single flower as a present to greet him.

He hasn’t even taken one step into the room that he can already feel Yuuri’s unimpressed stare. Sure enough, the boy is leveling him with a glare, one eyebrow raised. “What are you doing?”

Victor is prepared though, he is not going to be affected by this. He takes a deep breath and replies:

“I think we started out on the wrong foot. Hi, I’m Victor Nikiforov and I’m very pleased to meet you.” 

Yuuri looks down at his hand with a half smile. “I agree. How about you put that flower away and promise to meet me without all this make-up and perfume next time? Then we can talk about it.”

Victor is about to whine, but, again, he refrains himself, remembering what happened the first time. Do it for the challenge, Victor, he repeats himself. 

Out loud, he says:

“What’s wrong with my make-up and my cologne?”

“Nothing,” the other replies, ”except that you didn’t put them on because you wanted to but just to impress me. Since we have to study and I need to make the most out of this experience, I’d prefer it if you were sincere with me, instead.”

He feels caught red-handed and he has nothing else he can do but agree. “You are right… So, if I promise to be honest, will you give me a chance?”

Yuuri smiles more openly and Victor could swear he sees relief in his eyes. It makes him wonder if he maybe isn’t as confident as he is trying to appear, but he doesn’t have a chance to confirm or deny his suspicions because the hesitance instantly fades, as if it had never been there in the first place, and Yuuri finally reaches out to shake his offered hand. “Great! Thank you. Then, it’s a real pleasure to meet you, Victor, I am Katsuki Yuuri, I’m looking forward to studying with you.”

“Me too. Let’s begin.”

—

Three hours later they are still working on Yuuri’s assignment and the atmosphere in the classroom is definitely more relaxed. Yuuri has been terribly anxious from the moment he decided to stand his ground even if it meant going against The Victor Nikiforov, but he was determined not to let the other’s popularity or appearance blind him. He needs to graduate after everything his family went through to give him this chance and he really resented the way Victor had treated him when they first met. He was used to people recognizing him from the Random parties, but he thought that at least Victor would have been different. If not even him could think with his brain instead of… Other parts of his body, then there was no hope. Yuuri would never find someone really different. He swallows his disappointment, keeping his head down on his notes. At least, he has found a good tutor.

  


####  _**Today** _

  


“...Yes! And then, one of Phichit’s pictures won him the ‘Rising Star’ award! Isn’t it great? Oh, but I’m sure he already told you that,” Victor chuckles. 

“Yeah, he did,” comes the voice from the computer. “I’m happy for him, he deserves it.”

They are interrupted by the sound of the door being slammed. “Oi, Victor! Stupid Kenjrou brought those friends of his again, can I study here?” Asks Yuri, entering unceremoniously with a pile of books and notebooks in his hands.

“Of course. Yuuri is on Skype, would you like to say hi to him?”

“Yuuri? Isn’t it, like, dawn in Japan? What is he doing up?”

“It was the only time we could find to talk for a bit,” replies Victor easily, not bothering to hide his knowing smirk.

“Well, I don’t care. Do what you want.”

“He can hear you, you know?” Victor pushes but Yuri just groans. “Hello, pig. I hope your travel was fine.”

“Hi, Yuri! It’s nice to hear from you… We didn’t have a chance to talk or even say goodbye since you weren’t-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I didn’t feel well. What does it matter?”

“N-nothing.”

Victor notices that Yuri is still talking from his previous position near the door, pointedly looking away from Victor and his screen and preventing Yuuri from seeing him. Really, how had he never realized before? 

He shakes his head. “Forgive him Yuuri, he is in a bad mood. He has been for some time actually.”

Yuri scoffs and marches towards the table, making himself at home and opening his textbooks all around the place.

“I’d better go and help him, have a good day! Will we talk tomorrow?”

“Sure, say goodbye to everyone for me.”

“I will, bye!”

Victor disconnects the video call and moves next to his friend. “What was that about? Why are you always so mad at him? The two of you should talk, you’ll explode one day if you go on like this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I’m fine.”

“Yuri...”

“What??” The younger Russian shouts. “Leave me alone.”

His face is completely red and Victor swears he can see smoke coming out of his ears from the anger. This can’t be good for his health. Since his conversation with JJ, he has tried to address the issue more than once but Yuri is unrelenting and won’t open up to him about anything other than his studies. He is relieved knowing that at least he can help him with those.

“What are you doing today?”

“English...”

“Okay, would you like me to help?”

“I guess, if you want.”

—

Yuri wakes up hours later on Victor’s couch. He has a blanket over his body and a pillow under his head. He wonders how long did he sleep. Yawning, he stands up and starts making his way towards his apartment.

From the other side, he overhears people talking:

“Keinjirou, we need to talk… It’s about Yuri,” it sounds like Victor’s voice. What are those two plotting against him? He is torn between waiting to listen some more or interrupting them but he is slightly afraid of the turn the conversation might take and he really doesn’t want Kenjirou to spit out things he knows he has to keep his mouth shut about. 

He steps into the corridor.  “Don’t talk about me behind my back!”

Victor stumbles. “We weren’t, we are just worried about you!”

A matching expression colors Kenjirou’s face.

“I already told you both ten thousand times that there’s nothing to worry about. I’m perfectly fine.”

He doesn’t spare another glance at any of them before retreating to his room. What do they think they know about him? He just wishes they would stop fussing around him all the time and leave him alone.

  


Kenjirou sighs as he follows him inside, excusing himself from Victor. He knows that Yuri thinks he is being subtle. They have never spoken again about that night when he had cried over his shoulder because Yuri asked so but that doesn’t mean he has forgotten. At all. He had always had suspicions about Yuri’s true feelings for their friend and if they weren’t all confirmed that night, they surely were in the following weeks. 

Yuri has been in a bad mood ever since the day of Yuuri’s graduation and from the day he left, he has started to come up with the weirdest excuses to barge into Victor’s room whenever he knows the older Russian is calling him. He pretends not to care or listen when they talk about him but then lets some details slip about the conversations that most of the others didn’t even think much about, and he is always on edge, more than his usual. He has this restlessness typical of people who are looking for something they are missing or feel like there’s something they desperately need to do while they can’t. He bounces his leg whenever he is sat down somewhere, he taps his fingers on every available surface, he looks around as if he is expecting something to happen at any minute and he grumbles when it doesn’t.

They go about their days as usual but the situation is hard to handle and he has no idea how Yuri is dealing with it. When Victor came to talk to him, he had hoped to find a precious ally, but now that they have been caught, he doesn’t know if they’d dare to try again anytime soon.

He isn’t sure how much Victor has understood about the situation, considering how different his relationship with both Yuris is. What he is certain of is that they share the same worry. He has seen it in his face, clear as day.

The problem is that the only solution that comes to his mind at the moment is to find a way to book a flight, either to or from Japan. But even if they did, he doesn’t think they would be able to convince Yuri to face his issues head on and admit he isn’t okay with how things ended between the two of them.

  


####  _**November - 7 month ago** _

  


It’s only after he meets Kenjirou, that Yuri finally finds the courage to go to one of this famous events everyone can’t seem to stop talking about. It has absolutely nothing to do with Victor’s friend or boyfriend or whatever he is, it’s because he has embraced this new personality of Victor’s smaller clone and, as such, he will do exactly what Victor would do. Plus, he can’t show any weakness in front of his new roommate, he has to maintain his image. He doesn’t even stare at his wardrobe for more than a minute, he reaches for a light blue shirt and blue skinny pants and puts them on without thinking twice about it. He shivers as he looks at his disgruntled reflection In the mirror. His hair is too short, his shoes too low on his calf but that’s what he decided to be so he shrugs, taking a deep breath and walks away.

He notices that Kenjirou is watching him with mild concern while biting his lip but he says nothing, so Yuri doesn’t either. When they exit the compound, Otabek is there waiting for them. 

“Hello,” he waves, walking beside him.

“Hi, Yuri. Hi, Kenjirou,” the other replies. It’s monotone and there’s an undertone of disappointment that doesn’t escape Yuri. As always, it’s more sad than angry. Yuri is used to it by now and he gets it because, unlike Kenjirou, Otabek knows everything about him and he has come to expect that kind of reaction when they go out together like this. He gets it but there’s nothing he can do about it.

“Could you please stop?” He mumbles, walking beside him to allow the older boy to hear his hushed tone. “I know that you still don’t approve of my choice, but I really need your support, okay? I hate it enough as it is.”

“I’m sorry, Yuri, of course I know, I was there. But as I told you a million times, I think this is not the answer! And I thought that at least tonight...“

“Yeah, well, it’s the only one I have for now. So please go with me on this, okay? And I don’t get what’s so special about this place, why should this night be different from the others?”

Otabek smirks at that. “That you will see.”

They change the topic then, Otabek asking them how their studies are going and about their plans for the week and Kenjirou wanting to know all about the people they are going to meet once they are there. The uneasiness gradually wears off and they begin to enjoy the quiet walk and the anticipation of a pleasant night with their friends.

When they finally reach the club and enter, Yuri is in shock. There are people everywhere, the music is amazing, the lights are blinding and what’s even more, everyone looks different from the others. There are people in shirts and ties, people in dark ripped tank tops, people with high heels and people with tennis shoes. It’s messy and mismatched and Yuri is mesmerized. He absolutely loves it.

“Otabek!! What is this place??”

Otabek smiles knowingly. “Told you… You should have listened to Victor sooner, he knew you would have liked it.”

When they meet up with the others, Yuri schools his expression to a neutral one but he can’t completely hide the glint in his eyes and the slight regret of not having trusted Otabek.

—

They dance all night. Yuri hasn’t had a drop of alcohol but he feels tipsy all the same. The colours, the laughs, no one having a single pretext to judge him. He feels free. It reminds him of the sensation he had felt at his birthday party after he saw Yuuri teasing Victor for the first time. He thinks that maybe that’s the reason why he finds himself getting closer and closer to him the more he dances. It’s like he is lured by the other’s presence, by his confident expression, the way he moves. He couldn’t express the reason why and he would surely deny ever thinking anything similar in the daylight but none of that matters in the moment he is living now. He is driven purely by sensations. His smile is tentative but sincere. Otabek nudges his side playfully and Kenjirou entwines his fingers with his own for a brief moment. The physical contacts are barely there but they are reassuring, they remind him that his friends are there with him every step of the way. 

In a lapse of recklessness and courage, he closes the missing inches that brings him behind the cube on top of which Yuuri is dancing. Victor is on the other side, not very far from them, probably about to step on as well and join in but Yuuri turns to him, instead, and stretches his arm in invitation. Yuri blinks and sees his own hand taking it without consciously realizing to be doing so, he climbs up and when Yuuri gives him a wide grin, he can’t help but return it.

“Hello,” Yuuri says.

He just nods and doesn’t care about how little the space between them is, or about the sparks of electricity he senses on his skin wherever the other brushes it in his swaying. The only thing his mind can focus on is that for the first time in a very long time, he feels like his lungs are working properly, his shoulders are light as feathers and his mind is clear, ready to be filled with whatever he wants.

  


####  _**Today** _

  


When the sound of an incoming call wakes Phichit’s laptop, he instantly abandons the preparation of his dinner to launch himself on the couch and answer.

”Yuuri!!! How are things going?“

“It’s fine… How are you?”

“Great, great. Now that my picture is famous a lot of agencies are interested in offering me a trial period so I just have to choose the one I like best.”

“Wow congratulations! I’m really happy that I’ve been able to help even if only a little.”

Phichit widens his eyes, incredulous. “Only a little? I couldn’t have done it without the three of you.”

“We really did nothing… It was your idea to be amazing.”

“Anyway, there will be an exposition next month. Do you think you would be able to come? It’d be really important for me to have you there. We can split the plane ticket using my prize money!”

“Thank you for offering but I couldn’t possibly use those money, they are yours. I’ll try to come, I promise, but I’ll pay for it myself.”

Phichit purses his lips but he knows how stubborn his friend is so he doesn’t push. “Ok… Did you decide on something about your job? Do you want to remain in your parents’ business?”

“I don’t think so… I’ve been working there these days but, as my sister always repeats, that was her dream not mine.”

“Yeah… So will you be coming back?”

“I don’t know. For now I didn’t decide on anything…” He trails off and he has those sparkling eyes that mean he does have something else to say and he is looking for the right way to do so.

Phichit smiles encouragingly. “What is it?”

He can see Yuuri’s blush and he can feel his embarrassment even with all the miles currently dividing them.

“Come on, tell me. It can’t be worse than that one time you locked yourself in the shower and didn’t want to call for help so you climbed out of the window?”

“Why do you always have to remind me of that awful day!”

They both chuckle at the memory and it gives him courage. “I’ve started writing a novel.”

“You finally did! That’s awesome! I can’t say I’m surprised. How it is going?”

“I’m pretty happy, I’ve planned out the story and I’m building up the characters. Many ideas come from all those notes I took while I was studying there and I added something new to put them all together. I was hoping to talk to Victor about it and I could kill two birds with one stone by coming at your exposition.”

“I can’t believe you told  _ me  _ before you told Victor! I feel important now.”

“You know you are, Phichit. Victor and I connected because he felt grateful for how I helped him getting rid of Jonathan and everything but you have always been my best friend. I love you both the same way.”

Phichit made the gesture of wiping an imaginary tear out of the corner of his eyes and Yuuri shakes his head but they are both smiling. There is honesty behind their teasing like it always has.

“I wish you the best of luck, let me know about your progress!”

“I will. Thank you Phichit.”

“You’re welcome.”

They talk a bit more, exchanging news about their mutual friends and about Yuuri’s family, then they hang up and Phichit promises himself to do his best not to tell Victor despite knowing full well how difficult the task will be.

\--

“Phichit! Are you ready to get completely wasted?” asks Chris, barging in with two bags in his arms and Victor in tow with another. Phichit isn’t completely sure he wants to know what’s in them.

Leo stands up from his chair to greet them. “Welcome to our humble home.”

“Thank you for inviting us,” replies the blonde.

They are all there to celebrate the upcoming opening of Phichit’s exhibition with some food and drinks. Leo has offered to play his guitar and Guang Hong and Mila are singing while the others listen and sometimes add up to the chorus when they know the song.

Despite everyone’s protests that he shouldn’t be working, Phichit is taking tons of pictures, trying as always to “capture the moment”. They make fun of him but they know that he is enjoying himself and that he wouldn’t want his party to go any other way. 

As he moves around the place, snapping photos after photos, seeing all his friends smiling and laughing together celebrating his success, he is hit by a sudden sense of  _ belonging _ . Who would have thought that a bunch of models, musicians, professors, students of all different majors and ages from all different Countries could have become this much like a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading this chapter, I hope you liked it!! The next chapter should be the last if I don't dwell too much on it and I'll try to get it done sooner, I promise!   
> Come yell at me on Tumblr if you want.


	7. Only time can say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Thank you all for reading this! I'm really happy that I managed to finish this story even if it took way too longer than I had initially intended. I hope you will like the ending!   
> Check the tags, be safe, sending lots of love your way. <3

“So, Pichit, tell us what’s the plan,” Kenjirou asks, his chin leaning over his clasped hands perched on top of the table and his look expectant.

Pichit turns with a quizzical expression. “Why should I have a plan?”

“I don’t know but we have to do something!”

Leo puts his guitar away to join them and pours himself a cup of tea. “Maybe they’ll solve this on their own.”

Kenjirou all but yells at him. “You have no idea how exhausting living with Yuri is now. He spends hours and hours every day sulking and glaring at his phone. Why doesn’t he just press the damn button and calls him!!”

“And you think my Yuuri is much better? With his ‘so how’s  _ everyone  _ doing?’ and ‘oh, was  _ everyone  _ there last night?’, like I couldn’t hear how his voice changes depending on which name I mention,” Phichit groans. “I hadn’t realized it was this bad before he left.”

“I did. Maybe your Yuuri is more in tune with his emotions and can control them better, mine is a time-ticking bomb.”

“It’s really funny to hear you two talk like this, you know? I feel like I’m watching a movie,” Leo comments with a half smile. “Unfortunately, I think if you try to interfere too much, it’ll only going to be worse.”

“I know! That’s the problem!” Kenjirou continues. ”He is already mad at me and Victor because he saw us whispering in the corridor once when we thought he was asleep.”

“How long is Yuuri going to stay, Phichit?”

Phichit bites his lip, he has promised not to say anything about the book but this afternoon has turned into a war council, he doesn’t know for how long he can keep the secret. “At least a week, it’s not much but they’ll probably see each other every day, between the exhibition and Victor.”

“I hope they’ll at least talk, they’ll kill us all if they don’t,” Kenjirou replies.

“Yeah…”

“I’m sure we’ll figure something out, let’s try to remain positive. For now, it’s almost time, shall we go?” 

Both Kenjirou and Phichit agree and stand to leave.

The place where the exhibition is going to be set is not very big but, just from the first look, Phichit  _ knows  _ that it’s perfect. On one side, there are big windows casting a warm light all over the walls where the pictures will be, that will make their colors look even more vibrant, while the walls are painted in pastel colors not to create too much contrast. He loves it. 

As he takes the whole space in, he processes that there is his name on a tag near the door. He feels like his knees turn to jelly. “Forget Yuuri’s problems, I’m going to pass out for the emotion.”

Leo puts a comforting arm around his shoulders and nudges his side with his other hand. “You can do it, Phichit, it’ll be great, I promise.”

“How can I do this? This is too perfect.”

“Relax, we’ll be here with you, okay?”

Phichit nods, not very convinced. “Yes… I’ll try my best. Thank you again for agreeing to help me.”

“It was no problem,” replies Leo.

“I would have agreed to anything to have a few hours of freedom from Yuri so, yes, I’m happy you asked,” says Kenjirou. “This looks great! I’m so excited to see how it’ll be when we are done! Do you think a lot of people will come to see it?”

Leo gives him a warning glance and Kenjirou presses his lips tight, mouthing “sorry” behind Phichit’s back but it’s too late.

Phichit gasps. “Oh my God, what if no one comes? What if many people come and they all hate it? I can’t do this, I should have kept taking selfies instead of pretending to be able to take real pictures. Can we go home and leave the place to another artist who actually knows what he is doing?”

“Phichit, calm down, it’s going to be fine, I can’t guarantee how many people will come and if they will all like your work but that’s the best part about this, isn’t it? We don’t know what will happen, but they don’t either. It’s the first time they hear your name as a photographer at all so they won’t know what to expect, they’ll come here with their minds blank and imagine if someone does end up liking it, how awesome will that be? Isn’t it worth the worry?”

Phichit nods but his face is still pale. Leo sighs. “Why don’t we put on some music? Maybe it’ll help.”

He nods again, incapable of forming any coherent sound.

“I’m sorry, I got carried away by my fanboy mode again,” says Kenjirou, shuffling uneasily on his feet.

Leo pats him on his back and approaches the corner where he has spotted a socket for his speakers. “Don’t worry, it’s okay. This song always helps me ease my nerves, I’m sure it’ll work.”

The music fills the room and Leo’s easy smile is contagious. He grabs Phichit’s hand as he passes by him and makes him twirl. The other first yelps in surprise and then erupts in a fit of giggles. Kenjirou follows suit, starting to dance around the room. When the chorus comes, they all sing along to the music and the tension that had built up between them dissolves.

“Thank you,” says Phichit meeting both of their eyes. 

“You’re welcome,” they respond before moving to work, three matching grins brightening their faces.

 

\--

 

This time, landing and taking a first step into the foreign country feels nothing like the first one. The sound of English conversations isn’t dizzying, the place doesn’t feel alienating or unfamiliar. He takes a deep breath and goes to the bus stop with practiced motions.  When he reaches the compound that has been his home for eight years, a warm feeling makes its way through his body.

He is so caught up in the moment that he almost doesn’t hear the loud thump behind him.

Blinking to snap out of his reverie and return to the present, he turns and comes eye to eye with the reddest face he has ever seen. A pile of books is scattered on the pavement, he muses that it probably was the cause of the noise but he can’t find it in himself to give it a second thought. “Hi,” he says, waving at the boy in front of him.

“What the Hell are you doing here, pig?”

Yuuri chuckles. “Did you really think I could miss Phichit’s debut?”

Yuri opens and closes his mouth a couple of times and Yuuri just watches him curiously, patiently waiting for him to respond. 

“But… Victor? Doesn’t he know? And the others? Why didn’t...”

“Only Phichit knew and I told him not to say anything because I wanted to surprise him.”

“Him?”

Yuuri’s gaze turns conspirational as he lowers his voice and says with a wink:

“You know how much Victor hates not being in control of a situation.”

It’s like a spell being cast. Yuri’s eyes widen like it was in slow motion. Then, he bursts out laughing, so much that the corners of his eyes crinkle and he has to hold onto his stomach not to fall on his back. Yuuri’s breath catches in his throat because he can’t find any words to describe it except from ‘beautiful’.

When he calms down, Yuuri is still staring at him, mesmerized as the Russian smirks. “Yes, yes he does. Let’s go, you can hide with us until tonight.”

“O-kay, thanks.”

He doesn’t have time to react as the other drags him to his apartment. Only when they are inside, Yuri lets go of his arm and turns to him with a serious expression. “But I’m still mad at you, just so you know.”

“What? Why would you be mad at me?”

Yuri tucks a lock of his golden hair behind his ear and Yuuri follows the motion without even realizing it.

“Because you lead me to think that I could talk to you, that day when we were at the skating rink… You made me talk about my parents and stuff, you told me we should cook together, Russian and Japanese food. It was… Those were things I had never told anyone. Victor and Otabek know because they were there and they had always been forced to be nice to me because of that, Kenjirou is… Different, we are close but, we don’t talk about that… I just… Felt like it meant something, like I could finally be myself with someone else.”

“Of course it meant something.”

“No, it didn’t. Because then you up and left without even telling me. What was the point of asking me to cook together someday if you knew we couldn’t possibly do that because you were leaving?”

“I...”

The murderous look Yuri gives him make him freeze on his spot.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. 

But now that he has started, Yuri seems to not be able to stop. “Do you even have an idea of how difficult it’s been for me to just… Be myself that day, with you?”

The worst part, is that Yuuri knows, he had put together the pieces in his time with them, getting to know him and especially after what Victor told him about his past, but for a long time he had been so focused on himself that he hadn’t realized what he was doing to the ones around him. “Yura… I was a mess that day. When I knocked at your door, I was on the verge of a panic attack. I’ve been selfish and you didn’t deserve it, but please try to understand me.”

He looks up and sees that Yuri’s cheeks are tinged in a shade of pink very different from the angered flush he had previously, when they met in front the compound’s door. 

“What is it?” He asks, puzzled by the reaction.

“Could you… Could you say that again?”

Yuuri doesn’t even bat an eye. “Please, try to understand me, I’m sorry.”

“No, not that part… My… Name.”

Oh. “Yura?”

It’s blinding the softness of the smile that slowly appears on Yuri’s face, lighting up his entire being as the pink darkens and makes the green in his eyes stand out even more.

“Where did you learn that?”

Yuuri scratches the back of his head, averting his eyes. “I missed you all so I studied a bit of Russian while I was away. I don't even know why I had never done it before.”

“So… what it would be for you? Yuuchan?”

“It’s weird how you pronounce it,” Yuuri replies but he is sure his expression looks all but teasing. 

Yuri must notice it too because he nods. “Then… Would you like to steal some of Kenjirou’s tea now?”

“Always.”

They move to the kitchen and it's silent for a while, until Yuri whispers:  


“I… Can understand.”   


He doesn't meet his eyes, keeping them focused on the mixture. “I’m sorry, I should have talked to you sooner.”

Yuuri puts a comforting hand over his arms as he smiles. "Maybe, but… The same goes for me.”

Only the sound of the water boiling fills the room. Then Yuri speaks again, his voice, if possible, even more hushed:

“I missed you too.”

 

\--

 

Victor realizes that there’s something wrong the moment he enters the building. He spots Phichit, Guang Hong, Leo and Kenjirou gossiping in a corner, Otabek being too obvious about trying his best not to look in his general direction. There are a lot of people at the event, looking at Phichit’s pictures and chattering about them so he doesn’t want to cause a scene but they seriously need to tell him what is going on. Immediately.

He grabs Phichit by the elbow and brings him to the corridor, looking at him impatiently. “Spit it.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Victor,” he replies looking way too innocent.

“Phichit. Should I remind you of who I am?”

“Tremble, it’s the mighty Victor Nikiforov,” a voice calls from the other end of the room. He follows the sound and is faced with the two people he loves most in the World, both looking like they are barely containing their laughter.

“Yuuri!” He screams, jumping to hug him tightly.

“Hello, Victor,” the other replies. “It’s good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you too! What are you doing here? And why are you with Yuri, did he try to kill you?”

“No, we... Cleared things up. It’s okay now.”

Victor takes a step backward and glances back and forth between them. “Really?”

“Can you believe it? We were all here freaking out not knowing what to do to help them and these two were all nice and quiet, drinking tea and catching up in our apartment,” Kenjirou interjects, a slight note of resentment in his voice, muffled by the overwhelming amusement and affection.

Victor meets Yuri’s gaze, who returns it looking distinctly uncomfortable. But the happiness and ease haven’t quite faded and the sight makes Victor’s heart fill with pride. He reaches out to nudge him on his side. “What’s that face? You should be smiling!”

Yuuri moves out of the embrace to give them space and goes with Phichit instead, asking excitedly to finally see the exhibition.

“Are you not mad?” Says Yuri.

“How could I be? You are my family, both of you.”

“Yes but…”

“No buts, I couldn’t be happier, I swear. Now go ask him out officially, if you hadn’t already.”

“What?? Who said anything about asking him out!”

“Yuri… You can’t seriously expect me to believe that you were worried about me not being okay with you two being friends…”

“I… Whatever. But it’s not like he would want to, so...”

Victor raises a brow. “Do you really think that?”

He can practically see the cogs working in Yuri's brain, as well as the moment when he makes up his mind and snaps:

“I think you may be right.”

“Of course I’m right, I’m the mighty Victor Nikiforov.”

It’s only when Yuri runs away, that he lets his face fall, taking a moment for himself. It’s true, he couldn’t be happier for them, he just hopes that the right person exists somewhere waiting for him, too.

“How are you feeling, Vic?”

“Chris…” He says, spotting his friend beside him. “Charmingly late to the party as usual… You missed all the fun.”

Chris shrugs. “I saw enough. Are you okay?”

“Yes, sure… Yuri deserves someone like him in his life.” 

“I know. You do too.”

“Thank you. But, you know, lately I’ve realized that I was depending on him too much after the whole situation with Jonathan. He was right, I didn’t really like him that way, it was more… The challenge, not accepting that someone could not be swooning after me just because of who I am. And the gratitude added up to that, making it worse to understand my real feelings. I love him, I will always do but… It’s not the kind of love I thought it was.”

Chris puts his arm around his shoulders and Victor leans upon his side.

“I think so too, the important thing is that you are okay,” he says.

“Yes, I am.”

”Good. Come on now, we’ve had enough introspection for one night. How about a drink?”.

“You are reading my mind.”

 

 

**_Two years later..._ **

  
Yuri trails his fingers through the brown locks cascading over his shoulder. “Your hair is getting longer,” he comments, the voice seeping fondness against his will.

“I know,” Yuuri replies with amusement.

“I like it.”

“I know.”

They both feel the smile on the other’s face without the need to see it. It is weird to be comfortable like that, sharing that little couch in a tiny apartment, without the need to speak or to do anything, nor to have anyone else around. It is messy and still new, it is Yuuri teasingly pulling Yuri’s fringe over both of his eyes and laugh at his pout and his hisses that make him look like a small angry kitten; it is Yuri calling Yuuri fat or ugly or stupid but then kissing him senselessly and showing more affection than he ever thought he was capable of even feeling; it is fighting for meaningless reasons and yelling at each other in a language that is a mix of incorrect English, Russian and Japanese that only the two of them can possibly understand and then team up against the neighbors that come over to complain. But as they bask in the quiet atmosphere around them, they wouldn’t want it any other way. 

“It is your turn to cook tonight,” says Yuri after a moment, stopping his ministration on Yuuri’s hair.

“No, it’s not, you cheater! I cooked yesterday.”

Yuri groans, pushing him aside to walk towards the kitchen while mumbling in Russian under his breath.

“I understood that,” Yuuri calls after him reproachfully.

“I was hoping you would,” the other replies, sticking out his tongue. “Why don’t we go bother Victor instead?”

“Yura...”

“Fine, fine, I’ll cook,” he huffs.

Yuuri chuckles and gets up from the couch as well to join him. He encircles the other’s small waist with his arms and slightly kisses the tip of his ear. “Besides, I’d very much prefer being alone with you,” he whispers, making a shiver run down his spine.

“Hm… Yes… Me too,” the Russian replies, turning around to return the embrace. He raises his chin with a glint of mischief in his look. “But, if you want to be alone with me, you’d better help me cutting those vegetables.”

He makes to shove him away but Yuri holds him close, grinning at his protests. 

“Fine,” Yuuri relents and presses a small kiss to his lips, taking advantage of his momentary surprise to free himself from the hug and move to the kitchen.

Cooking together, as always, turns into a battle for survival, ingredients thrown everywhere, clothes dirty and crumpled and cheeks hurting from all the laughing. Against all odds, they still manage to eat something before stumbling back on the couch, in a position that resembles the one they were in before.

Yuuri nuzzles his face to his boyfriend’s chest, sighing contentedly. “I love you so much, Yura.”

“Me too,” he replies, stealing another kiss.

And they still don’t know where the road will take them, if Yuuri will be happy with being Victor’s assistant and if he’ll manage to publish his book. They don’t know if Yuri will be satisfied with pursuing the engineering major he has chosen, if Phichit will become a famous photographer or if Otabek’s record will climb up the charts. But isn’t the thrill of not knowing what will happen next what makes a trip worth to be taken? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: Phichit saying "Why should I have a plan?" is a reference to my other long-fic, a ballet AU Victuuri called On Pointed Feet and Broken Dreams. I couldn't resist including it XD  
> Thank you again and, as always, comments are very appreciated.  
> If you want to talk about my fics or Yuuri on ice in general, you can find me on Tumblr!!  
> Have a nice day or night.  
> Love,  
> Nigg


End file.
